Always order " DE WITT'S " Acting Plays. 

PRICE 15 CENTS. 





"-% DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. %^M) 

PS '^~ 

(Number 33 5.) 



THE GREAT 

HINDOO SECRET. 

IN THH.EE .A.GT&. 
ARRANGED 

By J. V. PRICHARD. 



TOGETHER WITH 



A Description of the Costumes— Cast of the Characters— Entrances 

and Exits— Relative Positions of the Performers on the 

Stage— and the whole of the Stage Business. 

All Acting Rights Reserved. 




DE WITT. PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Hose Street. 




A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACTING 
now ^ pwYS, AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing 
Plots, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informa- 
tion, mailed free and post-paid. 



READY. 



DE WITT'S 

ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA. 






Nothing sd thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Dramas has ever 
been printed as those tnat appear in the following list. Not only are the plots excellent, the 
characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, but all the situations, by-play, 
positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks are so plainly set down and clearly 
explained that the merest novice could put any of them on the stage. Included in this 
Catalogue are all the most laughable and effective pieces of their class ever produced. 

*** In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which 
indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's Ethiopian and Comic Dkajia." 

jQtg^ Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — Fifteen Cents 
each. 

i>5= The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. 
figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. male; F. female. 



The 



M. F. 

141, Absent Minded, Ethiopian farce. 1 

act 3 1 

73. African Box, burlesque, 2 scenes. . . 5 

107. African us Bluebeard, musical Ethi- 

opian burlesque, 1 scene 6 2 

113. Ambition, farce, 2 scenes 7 

133. Awful Plot (Ail) Ethiopian farce, la. 3 1 
43. Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scenes.. . . 7 1 
42. Bad \Yhiskcy, Irish sketch, 1 scene. 2 1 
79. Barney's Courtship, musical inter- 
lude, 1 act 1 2 

40. Big Mistake, sketch, 1 scene 4 

6. Black Chap from Whitechapel, Ne- 
gro piece 4 

10. Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene 3 

11. Black-Ey'd William, sketch, 2 scenes 4 1 
146. Black Forrest (The), Ethiopian farce, 

lact 2 1 

110. Black Magician (De), Ethiopian com- 

icalitv 4 2 

126. Black Statue (The). Negro farce 4 2 

127. Blinks and Jinks, Ethiopian sketch. 3 1 

128. Bobolino, the Black Bandit, Ethio- 

pian musical farce, 1 act 2 1 

120. Body Suatchers (The), Negro sketch, 

2 scenes 3 1 

78. Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 

89. Bogus Talking Machine (The), farce, 

1 scene. 4 

24. Bruised and Cure 1, sketch, 1 scene. 2 

108. Charge of the Hash Brigade, comic 

Irish musical sketch 2 2 

14S. Christmas Eve iu the South, Ethio- 
pian farce, 1 act 6 2 

35. Coal Heaver's Revenge, Negro sketch. 

1 scene 6 

112. Coming Man (The). Ethiopian sketch. 

2 scenes 3 1 

41. Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes 8 1 

144. Crowded Hotel (The), sketch, 1 sc. 4 1 
140. Cupid's Frolics, sketch, 1 scene 5 1 

12 Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene 3 

53. Damon and Pythias, burlesque, 2 sc. 5 1 
63. Darkey's Stratagem, sketch, 1 scene 3 1 
131. Darkey Sleep Walker (The), Ethio- 
pian sketch, 1 scene 3 1 



124, 
111 

139. 
50, 
64 
95. 

67. 
4. 
138. 
98. 
52. 
25. 



51. 
152. 

106. 

83. 

77. 

17, 
58. 
31. 
20. 
82. 
130. 



70. 
61. 
142. 

23. 
118. 

3. 

48. 

68. 
150. 

71. 
123 



M. F. 
Deaf as a Post, Ethiopian sketch... . 2 
Deeds of Darkness, Ethiopian ex- 
travaganza, 1 act 6 1 

Desperate Situation (A), farce, 1 sc. 5 2 

Draft (The), sketch, 2 scenes 6 

Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene 4 1 

Dutch Justice, laughable sketch. 

1 scene 11 

Editor's Troubles, farce, 1 scene.. . 6 

Eh ? What is it ? sketch 4 1 

Election Day. Ethiopian farce. 2 sc. 6 1 
Elopement (The), farce. 2 scenes. . . 4 1 

Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene 10 1 

Fellow that Looks like Me, inter- 
lude, 1 scene 2 1 

First Night (The), Dutch farce. 1 act 4 2 
Fisherman's Luck, sketch. 1 sce^ie. 2 
Fun in a Cooper's Shop. Ethiopian 

sketch 6 

Gambrinus. King of Lager Beer, 

Ethiopian burlesque, 2 scenes 8 1 

German Emigrant (The). sketch, lsc. 2 2 
Getting Square on the Call Boy, 

sketch. 1 scene 3 

Ghost (The). Sketch, 1 act 2 

Ghost in a Pawn Shop, sketch, 1 sc. 4 

Glycerine Oil. sketch, 2 scenes 3 

Going for the Cup, interlude 4 

Good Night's Rest, sketch. 1 scene. 3 
Go aud get Tight, Ethiopian sketch. 

1 scene 6 

Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 3 

Guide to the Stage, sketch 3 

Happy Couple. 1 scene 2 1 

Happy Uncle Rufus, Ethiopian mu- 
sical sketch, 1 scene 1 1 

Hard Times, extravaganza. 1 scene. 5 1 
Helen's Funny Babies, burlesque. 

1 act 6 

Hemmed In. sketch 3 1 

High Jack, the Heeler, sketch. 1 sc. 6 

Hippotheat'-on, sketch. 9 

How to Pay the Rent, farce, 1 scene 6 

In and Out, sketch. 1 scene 2 

Intelligence Office (The), Ethiopian 
sketch, 1 scene 2 1 



&&- SPECIAL NOTICE.-This Play is duly protected by copyright. Managers 
and Actors wishing to produce the same must apply to the Publisher. Amateur 
Societies may produce the Play without special permission. 



THE 

7/ 



Great Hindoo Secret. 



a COMEDY, 

IN THREE ACTS. 



ARRANGED 



By J. V. PRICHARD. 



TOGETHER WITH 



A DESCRIPTION OP THE COSTUMES— CAST OP THE CHARACTERS—EN- 
TRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OP THE PERFORM- 
ERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OP THE STAGE 
BUSINESS. 



:ghts Reserved. 




| JAN 

JL 



r 



^WU! 



NEW YORK i 
DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 



Copyright, 1884, by A. T. B, De Witt, 






THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

CHARACTERS. 
John Henry Robinson. Count Bluffski (inute), 

RUTHERFORD SMYTHE, MADAME MlRABELLA, 

Colonel Harr . Bolster, Amelia Thompson, 

Mortimer Cleverly, Mrs. Honoria Cleverly, 

Herr Yon Vogelsang, Maud Robinson, 

The Unknown, Petunia Plummer, 

Peter, A Maid. 



SCENE.— New York City. TIME.— Tiie Present. 



TIME OF PLAYING.— TWO HOURS. 



SCENERY. 

Act I.— The Reception -room in the house of Madame Mirabella. Double doors 
at back; doors R. 2 e. and l. 2 e. ; a secret door at l. 1 e, ; fireplace at r. 1 e. ; a sola 
in front of fireplace; a small table, with blotter and inkstand, L. c. ; an arm-chair at 
either side of table; at back, l. of doors, a cuckoo clock in carved wood, standing 
upon a bracket. 

Act II. — The Drawing-room in John Henry Robinson's house, Gramercy Park. 
A large fireplace occupies tbe centre of the background; a sofa on either side of 
fireplace: a table near r. 1 e. ; piano at l. 1 E. ; doors r. 1 K., r. u k. and l. u. e. 

Act III. — The Parlor in Madame Mirabella's suite, Second Avenue. Three 
arches at back opening upon the hall, and draped with portieres; doors r. 2 e. and 
l. 2 e. ; a table a little to r. of c; a sofa l. ; chairs here and there about the stage; 
a, lighted chandelier suspended from tlie centre. 



COSTUMES. 



No marked peculiarities, except for The Unknown, who requires a disguise of 
old-fashioned attire over a full-dress suit, and for Count Bluffski, a full-dress 
uniform of Russian officer, with decorations on breast. The others should be gen- 
teel street and house costumes of the present time, as may be demanded by the 
different characters. 



PROPERTIES. 



Act 1.— Newspapers for Peter; green spectacles, silver watch and gold-headed 
cane for Unknown; blank-book and writing materials on table; photograph, pocket- 
book and coin for Rutherford; pamphlets and card in pocket of overcoat for Rob- 
inson. 

Act 2.— Embroidery for Mrs. Cleverly; bandbox for Amelia; manuscript and 
eye-glass for Rutherford; glass of water and letter for Servant; vinaigrette for 
Maud. 

Act 3,-Step-ladder.for Peter; card of invitation for Unknown; coin for Colonel; 
letter for Cleverly. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 



ACT I. 

SCENE.— Reception room in the house of Madame Mirabella. 

As curtain vises, Madame Mirabella enters l. 2 e., and encounters 
Peter, in livery, who enters R. 2 E., bearing a package of news- 
papers. 

Mate. M. Ah! is that you, Peter? Did you stop in at Horton's to 
order the ice-cream for to-morrow evening? 

Peter. Yes, madame. 

Mme. M. And did you think to get the Herald? 

Peter. Here it is. {selects the Herald from among the newpapers, 
which lie places upon table L.) 

Mme. M. {taking the Herald and seating herself upon sofa before 
the fireplace). Now to See whether my advertisement lias been inserted. 
{glances over the paper) "Help Wanted— females." — "For Sale."— 
" Dentistry." — " Medical." — * 4 Astrology."— Ah, here it is! {?~eads) 
"The Great Hindoo Secret! — Marriages Guaranteed!— Madame Mira- 
bella, Second Avenue. Pull the first bell. Tact, ability, discretion." 
That's a clincher! (to Peter, showing him the advertisement) Eh, 
Peter? 

Peter {familiarly). You ought to know, madame. It isn't for me 
lo say how it inny clinch gome, where it won't clinch others. And 
there's one consolation in knowing that the fools are not all dead yet. 

Mme. M. {offended). Peter! who asked your advice? You may retire. 
(Peter bows and turns up stage to door at back) What are we coming 
Id ! If we unbend to a servant in the slightest degree, now-a-days, our 
condescension is scandalously abused, {the Colonel appears at back.) 

Peter {turning and announcing). The Colonel, madame! 

Colonel {coming down \ Fair lady, permit me to present mv hom- 
age ! 
. Mme. M. {smiling, but without rising). Ah, Colonel, good morning! 

Colonel {approaching her). And how do I find you to-day ? {kisses 
her hand.) 

Mme. M. Quite well, as you must perceive. 

Colonel {gallantly). Ever as fresh as a rose! Queen of flowers! — 
Queen amongst women ! Gods ! how desperate must your sisters be. 

Mme. M. What gallantry ! 

[Peter makes a grimace and exits at back. 

Colonel {pirouetting), 'Tis the gallantry of chivalry! Lost art, 
madame— lost art ! 



4 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mme. M. {laughing). Do you know. Colonel, that I consider you a 
niost dangerous man ? 

Colonel. Dangerous! Ah, not at present, though I have been. 
Mme. M. Indeed ! 

Colonel. Ah, yes ; I have had my share of adventures, I assure you. 

Mme. M. Do tell me about them. 

Colonel. No, no: not a word! Altogether too sad. {gayly) But I 
would have you to understand that I have as many broken hearts to 
my credit as an Indian has scalps to his belt. 

Mme. M. And I surmise that you are not at all averse to extending 
that credit. 

Colonel {modestly). You shock me! {passes behind sofa.) 

Mme. M. Oh, there is no help for it; 1 shall have to secure you a 
wife. 

Colonel {laughing). Ah, but, my dear madame, you forget our 
agreement. 
^Mme. M. How so? 

Colonel {leaning upon back of sofa). Indeed you must! When, 
three months since, you founded your Matrimonial Agency, who was it 
who first knocked at your door? 'Twas I — I. who said to you, "Mad- 
ame, my name is Bolster — Harry Bolster, Coionel by profession, and I 
possess some fortune, or at least my progenitors would have considered 
it such. I am still young to ail intents and purposes, or at least well 
preserved, and I am not sit all averse to the thought of making some 
sort of alliance— only, I am a trifle fastidious, and by no means pressed 
for time." Thereupon, my dear madame. you authorized me to call 
here 

Mme. M. As often as you saw fit, Colonel. And I must add that 
your society lias proven far too agreeable for me to regret, even for a 
moment, having granted the authority; only 

Colonel. Only what? 

Mme. M. The world will talk, and your assiduity might afford it 
ground for prattle. 

Colonel {highly flattered). Oh. madame! 

Mme. M. Therefore come less frequently; or, rather, do not come 
alone; bring some of your friends with you. 

Colonel I could ask nothing better. 

Mme. M. (rising). I mean to give a series of soirees this winter, and 
if you know of any dancers, of either sex {coming down c.) 

Colonel {following her). I know a host. 

Mme. M. then bring them along, Colonel, bring them along, {chang- 
ing her tone) By the by, have you done anything about that little adver- 
tising scheme of ours ? 

Colonel. Yes : I have waited upon the editor of "The Ball Call," a 
most amiable fellow— seemed to fall in with the idea at once, and con- 
jointly we have produced an item, conceived somewhat after this fash 
ion: — '• Marriage appears to be all the go this winter, and the apartments 
of Madame M. — " Mind you, we withheld the full name, lest it should 
smack of an advertisement. 

Mme. M. {nervously \ Exactly: but 

Colonel. Wait ! {continuing to quote) " And the apartments of Mad- 
ame M. in Second Avenue are the resort of an ever increasing crowd. 
Even yesterday, a foreign nobleman, desiring to testify his interest in 
this most novel institution " 

Petunia Plummer appears at c. d. f. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. O 

Petunia. Do I intrude ? 

Mme. M. Oil. not ut all. Gome in. my dear. 

Colonel {saluting). Ah, Miss Petunia! 

Petunia {advancing and giving her hand to Colonel). Good morn- 
ing, Colonel. Plow are } 7 ou ? 

Colonel {gallantly). Thanks — never better. I need not inquire for 
your health, since you are 

Petunia. As fresh as a rose. I save you the trouble of telling me so; 
consider it said, {turning to Mme. M.) I come for you. 

Mme. M. Indeed! Why? 

Petunia. The young widow on the third floor has determined to sell 
off her furniture this morning. Living, as I do, upon the second floor, 
my attention was excited by the unusual clatter above stairs, and I ran 
up to inquire into the cause. She has a host of pretty things to dispose 
of, and you may have your pick, provided you come at once. 

Mme. M. But I cannot leave. 

Petunia. You needn't be gone an hour. 

Mme. M. What if any clients should call meanwhile? 

Petunia. The Colonel will entertain them until you return. 

Colonel. I ? 

Petunia. Yes. you ; you're so obliging. 

Colonel {bowing). You're too good. 

Mme. M. I'm very sorry, but I dare not go. 

Enter Petee, c. d. f. 

Peter {announcing). Madame, the Unknown ! 

Mme. M. {to Petunia). You see ! {to Peter) show the gentleman in. 

[Exit Peter, c. d. f. 
Petunia. Who, in the name of all that's odd, is your Unknown? 
Mme. M. {laughing). I will present him. 

Enter The Unknown, d. f., in old-fashioned attire, with green specta- 
cles, and carrying a huge gold-headed cane. 

Unknown {saluting profoundly). Ladies, your humble servant. — 
Good morning, sir. {the Colonel places a chair c. ; the Unknown seats 
himself. ) 

Mme. M. {to Petunia). My dear Miss Plummer, permit me to present 
Mr. — {glances at Unknown and smiles) Mr. X., unknown quantity. 
(Unknown rises arid salutes Petunia, then reseats himself) You must 
know that this gentleman, although most desirous of securing a partner 
for life, has hesitated to apply to the ordinary matrimonial agencies, 
lest his measures should be divulged. I, however, have overcome his 
scruples by explaining my plan of procedure, and have won his confidence 
by my discretion. I have assured him that he need not give his name. 
{sentimentally) Indeed, I may do better for him without his doing so. 

Unknown. Very likely. 

Mme. M. However, the gentleman has promised to divulge his name 
on the day I conclude the alliance which he has honored me by intrust- 
ing to my care: {smiling) and I trust the day is not far distant. The 
gentleman is thirty -four years of age. and was born at North Kickapoo, 
where for years he has taught the young idea how to shoot. (Unknown 
nods his head in token of approbation) But recently he has sent in his 
resignntion, having had the good fortune to fall heir to a considerable 
property left by an aunt 



b THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Unknown (rising). On my father's side. 

Mme. M. On his father's side. (the Unknown sits) The windfall, added 
to the savings of an economical career, has made him an independently 
wealthy man. 

Unknown (rising). I am also possessor of two bonds in the C. Q. and 
B. R. R. 

Mme. M. I was about to mention that fact. (Unknown sits) Moreover, 
the gentleman has inherited a flourishing dry-goods business in North 
Kickapoo, which he proposes to run. Therefore he is in search of a 
wife to 'tend shop 

Unknown (rising). And keep house. 

Mme. M. Of course. 

Colonel. We shall find exactly the person he requires. (Unknown 
seats himself.) 

Mme. M. So I tell the gentleman, and beg him not to be discouraged, 
but to come here often and 

Unknown (rising). Suppose I look in about five o'clock? 

Mme. M. Very good; do so. You will be sure of a welcome. 

Unknown (saluting). Ladies, your most humble servant. Good day, 
sir. [Exit, o. d. f.. accompanied to door by Mme. M. 

Petunia. There's a type for you ! 

Colonel. Does it not fill you with an insatiable longing to secure it? 

Petunia. It might, were I a collector of bric-a-brac, {to Mme. M., who 
comes down) Well, will you come upstairs with me? 

Mme. M. I tell you I ought not to go. 

Colonel. You may go. (pirouetting) I will fill the vacancy. 

Mme. M. Very well ; let us hurry. [Exit. l. 2 e. 

Petunia (following). Colonel! 

Colonel. Sweetness ! 

PETtJNrA. You're a treasure! (throws him a kiss.) 

Colonel (apparently catching kiss and pressing it to his lips). Say, 
rather, treasurer! (exit Petunia, l. 2 e.) Charming woman ! 1 declare I 
always do have a roaring good time in this house, (takes a newspaper 
and seats himself beside table) Now then, what's on foot? 

Peter (appearing at c. d. f.). A gentleman ! 

Colonel (starting). A gentleman ! What the devil does a gentleman 
want here? 

Peter. To see madame. 

Colonel. She's not at home; tell him so. (suddenly rising) Stay! 
Upon second thoughts, show him in. [exit Peter) Since I have offered 
to fill the vacancy I suppose I 

Enter Rutherford Smythe, c. d. f. 

IiuTiiERFORD. I beg pardon, but is Madame Mirabelia 

Colonel. That's my name ! 

Ruth. Eh ! 

Colonel (starting). I would say— this is her place. Will you be 
seated? 

Roth. Is Madame Mirabelia not at home? 

Colonel. Must you see her personally ? 

Ruth. Personally. 

Colonel Ah ! that alters the case. I— er — (aside) I believe it to be 
my duty to go for her. (aloud) Madame is engaged for the moment, but 
if you can wait I 

Ruth. Certainly I will wait ; I have nothing else to do. (reflecting) 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 7 

Or, rather, yes ! (placing his hat on mantel-piece) Have you a pen and 
a sheet of paper handy ? 

Colonel {who has gone up stage). Do you wish to write? 

Ruth. Well, you don't suppose I want to eat them, do you ? 

Colonel {aside). Impudence ! {aloud, pointing to table) You will 
find all you require there. 

Ruth. Thanks, my boy. 

Colonel {aside, indignantly). My boy ! — Bless my stars, he takes 
me for a flunkey 1 I must resume my rank without delay. 

\ExiU o. d. f. 

Ruth, {having seated himself at the table, 'writes). "My dear sweet 
darling, 'tis with a trembling hand that I trace these lines. When you 
receive them, you—" {changing his tone — naturally) When she receives 
them she will have a nervous attack, and that's all I shall gain by the 
proceeding. No ; it is decidedly the better course not to write to her. 
(rising) I will go to see her, will explain the situation, and when she 

learns what I have done for her After all, she can't be angry with 

me. Such things happen every day. You meet a woman, fall in love 
with her — and then, all of a sudden, she leaves you, or you leave her; 
and half the time the Lord only knows why; though in this special case 
I happen to know the reason, {coming down)l have a reason — an excel- 
lent reason, {gravely) My future is at stake ! You understand that be- 
tween my future and my happiness I have not hesitated ; I decided 
promptly in favor of the former. The fact is, I have been working to 
secure a post in the Department of Public Works, and my official chief 
refuses to recommend me unless I am married— married according to 
his fancy. Finding myself helpless in the matter, I have concluded 
to follow his counsel, and have permitted myself to be presented to a 
certain Mr. Robinson, father of an only daughter, quite wealthy in her 
own right, {suddenly) The father is a widower! (confidentially) Natur- 
ally the absence of a mother-in-law proved an additional attraction. Of 
course the young lady herself is charming, very charming ; but then all 
marriageable young ladies resemble each other in that respect, while a 
widowed father-in-law {with conviction) is really a rare bird! People 
don't seem to think what a rare thing it is ! Besides, the fellow pleased 
me, and it is reasonable to suppose that I produced a similar impression 
upon him, since he said to me. "I shall go to the opera to-morrow eve- 
ning with my daughter." {smiling) The hint was sufficiently expansive. 
(turning up stage) I went to the opera, (takes a chair) Between the 
first and second acts I tapped at Robinson's box. "What, is it you, 
Mr. Smythe? Glad to see you ! " exclaimed the good man ; " sit down." 
The following day I popped the question, and in one week our wedding- 
takes place. Every evening I purchase two bouquets, one for my 
fiancee, the other— {with a sigh) the other for her ! Poor, dear, sweet 
darling! If she only suspected ! {changing his tone) But the devil of it 
is that she doesn't suspect. She takes the bouquet and puts it in water, 
never dreaming that the flowers would tell her that her Rutherford has 
• deserted her— that her Rutherford is about to be married, (rises) Ah, 
there are some queer passages in life ! The cause of the present catas- 
trophe began one May morning. I had just seated myself in a crowded 
street-car to go to my office, when outside, amid the rain-drops. I heard 
a plaintive voice cry, "Oh dear! I shall be late at the shop! " I turned 
and saw a young girl, with tears in her eyes, glancing fixedly at me 
through the window. Now, gentlemen. I did just what you would have 
done. I gave up my seat and stood on the platform. It rained great 
guns ! Arrived at Union 'Square, the young girl alighted; I offered her 



8 THE GEEAT HINDOO SECRET. 

my arm, but it rained so hard that I hailed a carriage; and by the time 
we drew up in front of her shop {sentimentally) my heart do longer be- 
longed to me! {changing his tone) You will tell me that I might have 
recovered it. Very good ; I admit it ; but in order to succeed one 
should be blessed with considerable nerve. I am not thus blessed : I 
cannot bear to see a woman weep. Should a woman weep anywhere 
in my neighborhood, I am completely disarmed. Well, suppose that 
Amelia— that is her name — suppose that Amelia should meet me the 
day after my marriage, with her eyes suflused with tears. Do you know 
what I should do? [with animation) I should follow her— abandon my 
wife, my children, my family. Oh ! I cannot answer for what I should 
do. When I am disarmed I am not responsible for my actions, {very 
calmly) So, don't you see, I must avoid such a calamity.* The day that 
I espouse Maud— Maud is the name of my fiancee — I must have nothing 
to fear on the score of Amelia. After mature deliberation I was stricken 
with an idea — an idea so brilliant that I collapsed at its advent. Said 
I to myself 

Enter Madame Mirabella. in haste, c. d. f. 

Mme. M. Oh, sir, I beg ten thousand pardons. I have kept you wait- 
ing such an eternity I 

Ruth. Not at all, madame, not at all. (aside, graciously) My time 
was well occupied. 

Mme. M. You must know that I have been closeted with my lawyer 
upon a matter of vital importance, (carelessly) concerning a dower of 
some three hundred thousand dollars. 

PiUth. Quite a neat sum. 

Mme. M. Oh. I am frequently called upon to arrange such matters. My 
connections with the leading families permit (smiting) of my spoiling 
my clients a trifle, (pointing to a chair) Is it to business of this nature 
that I owe the honor of this visit? 

Ruth. Yes, madame. (seats himself .) 

Mme. M. (quickly). In that case you come just in the nick of time. 
Scarcely an hour since I received a call from a young lady whose desire 
is 

Ruth. I beg pardon; it was not on my own behalf that I came. 

Mme. M. On behalf of a relative, then? (she sits.) 

Ruth, {embarrassed). iTes— alady. 

Mme. M. (smiling. Ah. then you are in the enemy's camp! 

Ruth. Quite so, madame. I am in the enemy's— (aside) She uses 
remarkably choice language, • 

Mme. M. Of course you are armed to the teeth ? 

Ruth, (puzzled). Armed to the teeth! Pray, what do you mean? 

Mme. M. (sentimentally). Ah, my dear sir. you cannot be ignorant of 
the fact tluil in this degenerate world of ours, interest often supersedes 
sentiment, and 'tis rarely that an undowered heart secures the nuptial 
circlet. 

Ruth, (quickly). Oh. the dower is all right ! 

Mme. M. {interested). Ah, that simplifies matters. Now, then, the 
person in question is 

Ruth, (warmly). Is a brunette, madame— a most adorable brunette! 

Mme. M. (smiling). That surely is a point in her favor, but 

Ruth. I have her photograph with me. if you wish to satisfy yourself 
as to her beauty, [takes iphotograyh from his pocket and presents it to 
Mme. M.) 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. y 

Mme. M. (examining photograph}. She is indeed remarkably pretty. 
(rising and coming do ten. ) 

Ruth. Is she not? (rising and following Mme. M.) She has such 
wonderful eyes too ! Ah, when she looks at yon with those eyes suffused 
with tears — Well, her husband will be a very happy man ! 

Mme. M. I do not doubt it. 

Roth. Besides, she is sweet, amiable, gentle and gay. She is the 
gayest girl I ever knew! Why, I recall one occasion when — (suddenly 
pausing) Yes, she is very gay. 

Mme. M. Another point in her favor. 

Ruth. I give you my word if I were able to marry her myself 

Mme. M. Well, why can you not? 

Ruth, (quickly). Because I cannot! (aside) What am I saying? 
(aloud) I am unable to marry her because — because I am her god-father. 
Yes, there it is in a nutshell. I was only ten years of age when I was 
asked how I should like to be a god-father. Naturally I — you know how 
it is yourself — a man of ten years doesn't stop to reflect. Ah, if I had 
only reflected! I regret the step to this day ; but the thing was done, 
and what is done can't be undone. 

Mme. M. Exactly. But what about the dowry? 

Ruth. I give her five thousand dollars. 

Mme. M. That is not enough to spoil her. 

Ruth. No ; but with it she can live modestly in the country. And, 
bv the bv, I insist upon my god-daughter living in the country. 

Mme. M. Ah! 

Ruth. Such are the doctor's orders. 

Mme. M. And in what part of the country do you wisli her to live? 

Ruth. It doesn't make the slighest difference where, provided it be in 
the country. Now, if you chance to know of some honest fellow of 
reasonable refinement 

Mme. M. I understand. My relations with the first families permit 
of 

Ruth. Oh, I'm not particular about the first families. No. I only in- 
sist upon the family being honorable, you know. A good respectable 
man in the country— something solid— that's all. 

Mme M. I see what you wish, (seats herself at the table and opens 
a register) The young person's name is 

Ruth. Amelia Thompson, with a p. 

Mme. M. And yours, sir? (she 'writes.) 

Ruth, (hesitating). Must I give my name also? (suddenly) Browne— 
J. Phil pot Browne, with an e. 

Mme. M. (writing). Thanks, very much. 

Ruth. Do you require my signature? 

Mme. M. It is not necessary. I require only a few facts concerning 
the young lady. How does she live ? What does she do? 

Ruth. She is fore-woman in a fashionable dress-makinir establishment, 
and possesses remarkable talents. Why, madame, crowds collect on 
the sidewalk every time she dresses the show-window. 

Mme. M. Indeed ! 

Ruth. That annoys her considerably, and she is very desirous of 
leaving the shop. 

Mme. M. From what you say I gather that your god-da lighter is a 
most accomplished person, and' I am very anxious to meet her. When 
will you bring her to see me? 

Ruth, (embarrassed). There's the pinch! You see, the dear child 
has no suspicion of my plan. 



10 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mme. M. No ? 

Ruth. No ; it will be a great surprise to her. 

Mme. M. {regarding him fixedly). Ah! 

Ruth. It is a delicate matter to handle. Were she to know that it is 
I, her god-father, who urn planning- her marriage, ten chances to one 
she would be much put out — she's so fantastic. 

Mme. M. {laughing). A young girl would be apt to be, under the cir- 
cumstances. 

Ruth. Whereas, were she to be told that the proposition originated 
in tiie brain of another 

Mme. M. She would be flattered. 

Ruth. Very appreciably flattered. Theerfore, I have had her informed 
that you wish to see her to-day, between three and five o'clock, upon a 
matter of importance. 

.Mme. M. Then she is coining? 

Ruth. Certainly; and I count upon you to explain the situation to 
her. 

Mme. M. I will do my best. 

Ruth. Without speaking of me, of course. I am supposed to be igno- 
rant of 

Mme. M. {smiling). You need not be disturbed on that score : tact, 
ability, discretion are emblazoned on my escutcheon. 

Rl*th. Later in the day I shall return to learn the result of the inter- 
view, {opening his pocket-book) Now. if youjequire a deposit 

Mme. M. (grandly). The word of my clients has always sufficed! 
{pointing to the register) Besides. I have your name,— and I will take 
this occasion to inquire your address. 

Ruth, {embarrassed). Ah, yes— my address, to be sure! The — the 
Terrace, Hoboken. 

Mme. M. Thauks. {she writes.) 

Enter Peter, c. d. f. 

Well, Peter, what is it? 

Peter {aside to Mme. M.) An old gentleman who has never been 
here before. 

Mme. M. {aside to Peter). Did you ask his name? 

Peter {aside). He said as how lie didn't know it. 

Mme. M. {aside). Very well, {aloud) You may show the General in, 
Peter. [Exit Peter, c. d. f. 

Ruth, {starting, aside). The devil ! Somebody coming? 

Mme. M. {rising). What is the matter. Mr. Browne? 

Ruth, {embarrassed). Why, don't you see, I know a, lot of generals! 
I can't afford to be seen here, since I am fulfilling a confidential mission. 

Mme. M. {smiling). I understand, {opening the secret door at l. 1 e.) 
If you will be good enough to pass out this way, you will find a safe 
escape. 

Ruth. Very convenient. I'm sure, (saluting) Madame! 

Mme. M. {saluting). Mr. Browne! [Exit Rutherford, l. 

Madame M. closes secret door just as John Henry Robinson gi 'avely 
enters at c. D. f. 

Robinson {advancing, seriously). Is it to Madame Mirabella that I 
have Lhe honor of speaking? 
Mme. M. Yes. sir. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 11 

Rob. To Madame Mirabella, the founder of the matrimonial agency 
with reports of which our journals teem? 

Mme. M. The same, sir. 

Hob. Madame, I congratulate you! (Mme. M. bows) Your label's are 
of a nature calculated to command the attention of all enlightened 
spirits! 

Mme. M. Unquestionably so. 

Rob. The art of mania ge is moribund, madame— positively moribund ; 
but you have lent it renewed life. 

Mme. M. (aside). What's he driving at? (aloud, pointing to a chair 
near the sofa) Will you be good enough to be seated ? 

Rob. {sitting). Thank you very much. May I inquire how long it is 
since, 1 you founded this institution ? 

Mme. M. {sitting upon sofa). Some three months — (suddenly cor- 
recting herself) er — that is, some three years ; {with a sigh) since I lost 
Siii'nor Mirabella. 

Rob. You are a widow then, madame? 

Mme. M. Yes. sir ; widow of one of sunny Italy's most tickle children. 
My husband led me a very unhappy life. 

Rob. Which has suggested the propriety of getting other unfortunates 
into a similar box? 

Mme. M. Say rather that I employ my experience- my personal ex- 
perience — for the profit of those who, lacking a guide, might marry as 
unhappily as I did. 

Rob. In other words, you undertake to prejudice people against 

Mme. M. Far from it. Indeed, sir. I assure you the matrimonial pro- 
fession has been calumniated. 

Rob. I grant you that it should command respect. 

Mme. M. 'Tis a noble sacrifice ! 

Rob. (gravely), 'Tis more than a sacrifice— 'tis a dilemma. 

Mme. M. Alas! yes. 

Rob. I underst md you ; I understand you^o well that I have prepared 
and published this little tract upon the subject, (draws a gay-colored 
pamphlet from his pocket) It treats of the causes of the diminution in 
the number of marriages, and of the influence of marriage upon public 
morality, considered from the triple point of view of econonn r , hygiene 
and preservation. Permit me to offer you a copy. 

Mme. M. (taking it). Oh. thank yon. 

Rob. It will cost you just fifty cents. 

Mme. M. (in surprise). Eh ? 

Rob. Fifty cents. 'Tis a modest sum, but I insist upon receiving it, 
because it is sweet to think that I could live by my pen. 

Mme. M. And have you taken the trouble to come here for the pur- 
pose of distributing your tracts ? 

Rob. By no means ! I wish to consult you upon quite another matter. 

Mme. M. Ah ! I am all attention. 

Rob. You must know, madame, that I have been married a very long 
•time. Happily, however, there is an end to all things! (Mme. M. starts) 
I would say, unhappily there is and end to all things, and my wife has 
left me a widower with a daughter just nineteen years of age to-day. 

Mme. M. (brightening). Yon should marry her off. 

Rob. Just what I propose to do, and have seized this occasion to 

Mme. M. (rising). My dear sir, you have come to me just in the nick 
of lime. Only this morning I received a call from a young man who 
ardently desires 

Rob. (rising". I beg pardon. But it is not my daughter w.ho . 



12 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mme. M. No? 

Rob. No ! Her murriage is already consummated ; or, I should say, 
is upon the eve of consummation. She is to marry a most distinguished 
young man, who holds an excellent post in the Board of Public Works. 
So, you see, her goose is cooked! Naturally, so occupied have I been 
in getting my daughter established for life, that I have given no thought 
to myself until the present lime, (he laughs.) 

Mme. M. What! do you wish to marry again? 

Rob. [laughing). You've hit it the first time! 

Mme. M. (sentimentally). It is a. resolution which doe3 you honor, sir. 
You set a. worthy example to the flippant youth of to-day. 

Rob. Yes, it won't trouble me an atom to set the example, (changing 
his tone) However, it was not precisely l hat which— (Mme. M. starts) 
By no means! You see. the best years of my life were passed either in 
my office or my household. You can understand that my office afforded 
me no very delirious distractions, and as far as my household — (raises 
/us eyes to heaven) I do so want to preserve a pious remembrance other 
who is no more — (changing his tone) but I prefer not to think of her. 

Mme. M. (smiling). It appears that j T our first venture 

Rob. Was not altogether felicitous, madame; and for that very reason 
I would like to begin over again. I have made a practic of regulating 
my life in accordance with the calculus of the probabilities, and 1 have 
satisfied myself that lightning rarely strikes a second time in the same 
place. 

Mme. M. {graciously). Though the invigorating shower that accom- 
panies it may. 

Rob. Let us hope so, madame — let us hope so. 

Mme. M. What you need is a woman of a certain age, who will prove 
rather a companion 

Rob. (starting). Pardon me —one moment! What do you mean by a. 
certain age? 

Mme. M. Oh, a reasonable age ; of course you do not insist upon 
physical advantages. 

Rob. Oh, but I do, I do ! I very much insist upon physical advan- 
tages! Of course I don't pretend to a professional beauty, (with a sud- 
den burst) but I won't have a second wife that resembles the first one! 
She was very ugly— as ugly as she was disagreeable; yet my principles 
obliged me to support her. 

Mme. M. (laughing). And you obeyed your principles? 

Rob. Certainly I did. madame, hard as it was. (changing his tone) 
Consequently, being free to make a more advantageous choice to-day, I 
want a wife both pretty and gay — the gayer the better. 

Mme. M. (reflecting). The gayer the better. Let me see. Stay! I 
have it! Would you consent to live in the country? 

Rob. (surprised). In the country ! Why the country? 

Mme. M. Because I have just the person in mind who would suit you 
to a T. A young person, very amiable and pretty, though not possessed 
of a great fortune. 

Rob. Oh, I'm not fortune hunting. 

Mme. M. But what she lacks in wealth she atones for in blood, being 
connected with the Brownes — the Philpot Brownes, with an el 

Rob. (dazzled). The devil you say! The Brownes— the Philpot 
Brownes! (changing his tone) 1 don't know them ! 

Mme. M. They aie large property owners in Hoboken. 

Rob. lloboken ! I occasionally go over there on business, but as for 
passing the remainder of my «lays lhere, I 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 13 

Mme. M. Perhaps the condition is not absolute. 

Rob. And you say that the young person is pretty? 

Mme. M. {going to table). See! here is her photograph. 

Rob. (sitting beside table and taking photograph). Urn — yes, she 
might do. A trifle frowzy, perhaps, but (laughing) I don't mind that ; 
in fact. I think I rather like frowzy women, (with a sigh) For twenty-rive 
years I had to content myself with hair smoothly brushed ; my wife 
brushed her hair down over her ears. But it is past - let us think no 
more of it. When might I see this young person ? 

Mme. M. Soon. I trust. She intended to call upon me to-day: should 
she call I will try to arrange an interview. 

Rob. Do you think I shall please her? 

Mme. M. (regarding him, fixedly). What income have you? 

Rob. Five thousand a year. 

Mme. M- She'll be charmed with you ! She will bring you another 
live thousand, being the dowry of her god- father. 

Rob. Ah ! she lias a god-father, then ? 

Mme. M. Yes; Mr. J. Philpot Browne, a charming man. I shall 
present him also. 

Rob. Later, later! (he rises) One at a time. I do not care to have 
my affairs noised abroad prematurely. 

Mme. M. You have nothing to fear in that respect. The most abso- 
lute prudence presides over all my negotiations, and you need feel under 
no obligation to declare yourself until after you have carefully studied 
the character of your future partner. 

Rob. How can I study her? 

Mme. M. By being present at my semi-weekly soire'es, which afford 
my clients exceptional advantages. 

Rob. Do they dance? 

Mme. M. If the spirit moves them. 

Rob. I adore dancing! 

Mme. M. Then come to-morrow evening ; we shall- 

The Colonel appeal's at o. d. f. 

Colonel. I ask your pardon if I intrude, but 

Mme. M. Come in, Colonel. 

Rob. (bristling). A Colonel! (he salutes.) 

Colonel. As I came down stairs (advancing) I met a lady in the ves- 
tibule, who says she has an appointment with you at this hour. 

Mme. M. A brunette? 

Colonel. Yes, a brunette with a tint of rose ! 

Mme. M. (to Robinson). It is she! 

Rob. Ah ! (turns up stage precipitately.) 

Mme. M. (laughingly detaining him). Stay! not so fast! The young 
person must not encounter you. 

Rob. Why not? 

Mme. M. It may cost her her peace of mind that she has already seen 
the Colonel. 

Colonel (flattered). Ah ! 

Mme. M. (to Robinson). Stay — I will come to your rescue, (pointing 
to r. 2 e.) Go into that room ; the Colonel will keep you company. 

Colonel. I? 

Mme. M. (graciously). Yon are so obliging, my dear Colonel, (to Rob- 
inson) When I have said to the young person — what I have to say, you 
will drop in by accident. 



14 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Rob. But how shall I know 

Mme. M. You will await a signal from me. 

Rob. What signal? {she whispers in his ear) Ah! very clever— very 
clever indeed. 

Mme. M. Then away! Colonel, you will accompany the gentleman. 

Colonel. With pleasure ; only 

Rob. Colonel, permit me to utiiize this occasion by offering you a copy 
of a little tract which I 

Colonel (talcing the pamphlet). Ah, thank you ; but {going to- 
wards 11. 2 E.) 

Rob. {following him). Only fifty cents ! 

Colonel {surprised). Eh? 

Rob. Fifty cents! {thrusts Colonel through r. 2 e., and exit after 
him. ) 

Mme. M. (to Peter, who appeal's ate. d. f.). Show the lady in, Peter. 

Peter steps aside and Amelia Thompson enters. Exit Peter. 

Mme. M. Miss Thompson. I presume? 

Amelia {advancing). Yes, madame. 

Mme. M. Pray be seated. 

Amelia {sitting). I have duly received the letter which you sent to my 
address, madame. 

Mme. M. {sitting). And you have answered it at once, in person. 
Thanks, very much. 

Amelia {carelessly). .Not exactly at once, madame; I confess I hesi- 
tated to 

Mme. M. (proudly). And why? 

Amelia, because, never having had any dealings with matrimonial 
agencies, I fancied for a moment that this letter might have been ad- 
dressed—by mistake. 

Mme. M. Not at all, Miss Thompson; you were the person intended. 

Amelia. I fail to see why. 

Mme. M. {smiling). I wish to marry you off. 

Amelia. Seriously? 

Mme. M. (wounded). Miss Thompson! {with dignity) My marriages 
are always serious. 

Amelia. Oh, I did not mean exactly that. Only I am so surprised at 
your proposal. Do you know of some one who wishes to marry me? 

Mme. M. Certainly. 

Amelia. Some one who knows me well? 

Mme. M. He knows you through me. 

Amelia. I do not understand. 

Mme. M. (mysteriously). You are not called upon, nor expected to 
fathom the Great Hindoo Secret. Suffice it that it is able lo render you 
boundless service. The person of whom I speak has known you but 
one hour, while you yourself do not know him : and yet within a few- 
days you may perhaps be united for all eternity — thanks to the interme- 
diary, who claims for her negotiations but live per cent, of your dowry ; 
in other words, two hundred and fifty dollars upon your live thousand. 

Amelia (amazed). My dowry! Five thousand dollars! Indeed, 
madame, I know not what to 

Mme. M. {smUinrj). Have perfect confidence in (lie inscrutable opera- 
tion of the Great Hindoo Secret. Being merely the priestess of the 
arcana r .I have not the power io divulge the true inwardness of this 
omnipotent sovereignty, and yet I am ever moved to pity by feminine 



THE GEEAT EIKDOO SZCZET. 15 

curiosity, {rises, and taking Amelia's hand, leads her down to r. 1 e.) 
You have inspired me with such sympathy that I will risk departure from 
our habitual reserve. Know, then, that the idea of marrying you lias 
not occurred spontaneously to the oracle. 

Amelia. I was about to say that I don't quite 

Mme. M. It has been inspired by a person interested in you 

Amelia. To the amount of five thousand dollars? (with assurance) It 
must be my steward ! 

Mme. M. What steward? 

Amelia. Tiie steward of my family, an old servant who lias not ceased 
to watch over me; for I belong to a family of note, madame! 

Mme. M. {incredulously). Indeed ! 

Amelta. My father was a wealthy Southern planter; he married my 
mother secretly — I beiieve they were obliged to elope. I was reared in 
the neighborhood of New Orleans, where the steward came to see me 
every month. When I grew to girlhood I was apprenticed to a dress- 
maker— — 

Mme. M. To a dress-maker! 

Amelia {smiling). There to remain only until my family should enter 
again into possession of its fortune. 

Mme. M. It sounds like fiction. 

Amelia. My family must have ordered the steward to have me mar- 
ried. I cannot otherwise explain his intervention, {changing her lone) 
What surprises me. though, is the five thousand dollars, since up to the 
present time I have received but five dollars a month. 

Mme. M. The steward must have been practicing economy. But tell 
me. is he a young man ? 

Amelia (laughing). Young ! Why, he's every day of sixty! 

Mme. M. (aside). This, then, is some other, (aloud) But to return to 
the question of your marriage. 

Amelia (sentimentally). Ah, madame, 'twould be useless ; my heart 
is fettered. 

Mme. M. Fettered ! What do you mean ? 

Amelia. That I am loved by a young man whose dream, waking and 
Bleeping, is to marry me. 

Mme.^M. What position does your young man hold ? 

Amelia. He is at present a clerk in the Department of Public Works. 

Mme. M. A clerk ! Mercy! that's no sort of position. The man I 
propose as your fiancee is settled in life. He must be anywhere between 
forty and forty-five years of age. 

Amelia. Make it fifty. 

Mme. M. You may do as you choose ; I have no idea of trying to in- 
fluence you in the matter. If you are not disposed to 

Amelia (quickly). Oh, I don't say that. I need time for reflection 
and— a look at him. 

Mme. M. That you may have at once, (pointing to k. 2 e.) He is 
there I 

Amelta (going towards e. 2 e.). Mav I see him without his seeing 
me? 

Mme. M. Permit me ! (goes up stage to cuckoo clock at back and 
causes it to strike three times. At the last stroke Robinson appears at 

R. 2 E.) 

Robinson. Oh, I beg pardon ! You're not alone, (affects to retire.) 
Mme. M. Remain, my dear sir: you are not in the least in the way— 
in fact, quite the contrary, (to Amelta) This gentleman is my architect. 
Rob. (aside). What the devil put that into her head ? 



16 THE GREAT HINDOO SECP.ET. 

Mme. M. ( presenting Amelia). And this young lady is here for the 
purpose of viewing my apartments, which will shortly be to let. 

Rob. (saluting). Charmed to meet you, Miss 

Amelia (saluting). Mr. Architect. 

Rob. {turning upstage, aside to Mme. M.). She is delicious ! 

Mme. M. {significantly to Amelia). Well, my dear, what do you think 
of it? — the room. I mean. 

Amelia {glancing at Robinson). Oh, it might be made presentable 
with a few repairs. 

Mme. M. True ! And yet it i3 in a fair state of preservation. 

Rob. {aside, much flattered). 'Tis of me they speak ! 

Mme. M. (to Robinson). And what do you think of it, Mr. Architect? 

Rub. (coming down). I, madame? (with admiring glance at Amelia) 
I think that a mere trifle would suffice to set tire to it. 

Amelta (laughing). Oh, then there is considerable danger. 

Mme. M. Fortunately one may insure against tire. 

Rob. (laughing). And for life also— ha, ha!— for life also. 

Mme. M. (to Amelia). Well, do you think you'll take it? 

Amelia. I cannot say yet; I would like first to see it in gala attire, 
and under a bright light. 

Mme. M. Then you have only to join us at the little soiree 1 propose 
to give to-morrow evening. 

Amelia (hesitating). I scarcely know whether I ought 

Mme. M. Your refusal would grieve me. 

Amelia. Oh! then I shall accept. 

Mme. M. You know I count upon you also. Mr. Architect. 

Rob. (with a flourish). My dear madame, you are Loo obliging S I 
can only say that I shall be charmed to renew the acquaintance of two 
such captivating ladies. 

Amelia (bowing). 01), sir, I am acquainted with several architects. 
but I have never met with one so engaging. May I not have the pleas- 
ure of knowing your name? 

Rob. My name! (aside) Beelzebub! (aloud) Um — ah— St. George 
Strath more, at your service. 

Amelia (saluting). Mr. Strathmore ! 

Rob. (saluting). Miss— ex — (aside) What the devil is her name? 

Amelia (to Mme. M.). To-morrow then, mad • me. 

Mme. M. To-morrow evening. I depend upon you. (to Robinson) I 
shall be gone but a minute; make yourself at home. 

{Exit at c. d. f. mith Amelia. 

Rob. (throws himself on sofa). Well, bless my heart ! here I am al- 
most a married man. and I don't regret it. The little one is charming - 
altogether charming. Upon my word, I believe the inspiration was a 
happy one. (laughing) I don't know whether my son-in-law that is to be 
will regard it in the same light, but as I shall not inform him till after 
the wedding — (knock heard at secret door, l. 1 e.) What's that? (re- 
newed knocking) Come in ! 

Enter Rutherford Smytiie, cautiously. 

Rutherford. According to my agreement, madame, I— (suddenly 
seeing Robinson) My father-in-law! (recoils, stupefied.) 

Rob. (struggling to his feet). Rutherford ! You— you here! 

Ruth, (stammering). Yes : I— I was passing through the avenue, 
and seeing you come in here. 1 ran in after you. 

Rob. But I've been here an hour! 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 17 

Ruth, {aside). An hour ! Pin undone! {aloud) Why, certainly. I 
couldn't be sure which suite you had entered, so L went upstairs on an 
exploration, {struck with an idea) On the second floor I found a dent- 
ist, and having an aching tooth, I called to have it out. {opening his 
mouth) You see— this back one. But of course you can't see, for I've 
had it out. {aside) Heaven help me if Madame Mirabelia comes in. 

Rob. That's curious. 

Ruth. Yes. very. Now, what brings you here? 

Rob. Oi), I'm an architect 1 

Ruth. Eh? 

Rob. {correcting himself). No : that is. I mean I have seen an arcb- 
tect who advised me to take a look at this suite, and knowing that you 
would soon be wanting one. the idea struck me that 

Ruth, {absently). All ! quite so. How many rooms are there? 

Rob. Oh, I haven't counted them, but there is this reception-room, 
parlor, dining-room, two chambers, kitchen, servant's room, and ^le- 
vator. 

Ruth. What's the rent? 

Rob. Three hundred dollars. 

Ruth. Why, that's nothing' for the accommodation, {quickly) We'll 
engage the suite I 

Rob. (confused). But — look here. 

Ruth. We shall never find anything better at the price, (turns up 
stage hurriedly.) 

Rob. (running after him). Where are you going? 

Ruth. To speak to the lady of 

Rob. Unnecessary ! 

Ruth. But if Ave have concluded to take the rooms 

Rob. We haven't concluded. 

Ruth. What! such a suit of rooms for three hundred dollars. 

Rob. It's too much money. 

Ruth. Oh, then there's some drawback. 

Rob. Yes, it's full of drawbacks. 

Ruth. Chimney smoke? 

Rob. Villainously. 

Ruth. How about the windows? 

Rob. (excited). They smoke too ! 

Ruth, (confused). What! 

Rob. There are no doors, and the kitchen opens into the parlor? 

Ruth, ('wildly). What are you talking about? 

Enter Colonel Bolster, suddenly, r. 1 e. 

Colonel (to Robinson). Madame Mirabelia is detained for a moment 

upon business touching your interests, but she will join us in a 

Rob. (quickly). Oil, pray don't let her disturb herself. 
Colonel (surprised). Eh ? 
Ruth. The "business " is off. 
Colonel (to Robinson). How so ? 
Ruth. On account of the chimney. 

Colonel (to Robinson). But the person in question 

Rob. (desperately). Needs repairs ! 
Colonel (shocked). Oh ! 
Ruth. The piagny thing smokes ! 
Colonel. Goodness gracious! 
Rob. Doesn't suit me" at all 1 



13 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Colonel. This is too much ! 

Mme. M- {outside). Colonel ! 

Colonel (turning up stage). Ah, here comes Madame Mirabella. 
She'll soon settle matters! 

Ruth. The matter is quite settled, as it is. 

Rob. {taking Rutherford's arm). Entirely settled, {turning up stage) 
Come ! 

Ruth. I am with you— lead on. [Exit both, c. d. f. 

Colonel. Hang me if I understand one word ! 

Enter Madame Mirabella, l. 2 e. 

Mme. M. (in surprise). What ! has the gentleman gone 
Colonel. Yes, and the other fellow too. 
Mme. M. What other fellow? 
Colonel. Why, the young one. 

Re-enter Rutherford, precipitately c. D. f. 

No ; here lie is again ! 

Ruth, {to Mme. M.). Just one word. Has she been here? 

Mme. M. Who? 

Ruth. Amelia. 

Mme. M. She has just gone. 

Ruth. Have you arranged everything? 

Mme M. Nearly. 

Ruth. Husband secured? 

Mme. M. Yes, and a very promising party. 

Ruth. His name? 

Mme. M. St. George Strath more. 

Ruth. All right. Ta, ta. 

Mme. M. Must you go? 

Ruth. I've a very important engagement— see you again, {upon 
reaching c. d. f. he is confronted by t/ie Colonel, iclio performs a 
grand salute) Ah ! I forgot. ( puts his hand in his pocket and ^produces 
a coin) There's a quarter for you, my boy ! [Exit, precipitately, c. d. f. 

Colonel {overwhelmed). He dares to fee me ! (calling off at c. d. f.) 
I say. young fellow, you've made a mistake! Ah, well, lie's off. {com- 
ing down and putting coin in his purse) Never mind — I'll resume my 
rank some otiier day. 

Mme. M. {laughing). An odd sort of a client, eh. Colonel? But it is 
the old one who astonishes me. Why did he fly away? 

Colonel. Do you know the man? 

Mme. M. I know that his name is St. George Strathmore. 

Colonel. Bah ! that's no name at all. {starting) Ah ! 

Mme. M. What's the matter? 

Colonel. He's forgoiten his overcoat ! Murder will out. (takes over- 
coat from chair where Robinson has left it and searches the pockets) I 
thought so ! {producing a visiting-card, reading) " John Henry Robin- 
son, Gramercy Park." What did I tell you? 

Mme. M. An assumed name, eh? Colonel, you will go to Gramercy 
Park to-morrow, {turns up stage.) 

Colonel. Oh. but, madame. I 

Mme. M. You are so obliging, you know. [Exit, l. 

Colonel. Yes. but I'm not supposed to be in town, (running after 

her) Madame! madame! you know I'm not supposed to be 

[Et'.it, L. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 19 

Peter {appears at c. d. f., announcing). The Unknown ! 

Enter The Unknown, c. d. f. 

Unknown {saluting right and left). Ladies and gentlemen, I— {find- 
ing himself alone, lie draws his watch and glances at it.) 



ACT II. 

SCENE. — The drawing-room in the house of J ohn Henry Robinson, 
Gramercy Park. 

As the curtain rises, Maud Bobinson is discovered seated at the piano, 
in the act of taking a music t lesson, with Herr Von Vogelsang 
seated at her right hand. Mrs. Cleverly sits upon sofa, r. of 
fireplace, sewing. Maud plays a passage. 

Von V. Piano, Mees Maud, pianissimo! You really must permit 
us to suspect the melody, or, better, to divine it. It is a love song, a 
breath, a sigh ! Then let it escape from the piano as though it exhaled 
from your bosom ; thus— {he sings.) 

" Liebster, deine Worte stehlen 
Aus dem Busen mir das Herz." 

Mrs. C. {dreamily). Ah. exquisite! delicious! 

Von V. Then, please allow the fingers to rest quite supple. Stay! — 
are your hands cold? 

Maud {still playing). Oh, no. 

Vox V. {taking her hand). But they are. They are like ice ! 

Maud. No, no ; I assure you, \— {snatches her hand away and strikes 
a discord. ) 

Mrs. C. {starting). What's the matter? 

Von. V. {turning suddenly). Nothing— only a false note. Mrs. Clev- 
erly — a simple false note, {to ±4aud) Now then. Mees Maud, if you 
please, we will begin again ; and wq w.\il piny with a trifle more expres- 
sion — a shade more sentiment, isn't it ? Ah, the more expression, the 
more sentiment! Now — {beating time) One, two, three — (Maud plays 
again.) 

Mrs. C. Dear me, how provoking! {rising) Maud ! 

Maud {ceasinrj to play). Yes, aunt. 

Mrs. C. Herr Von Vogelsang must pardon the interruption, but I am 
out of thread. Where shall I find some, my dear? 

Maud. In my chamber, aunt, {she rises.) 

Mrs. C. No, no! Pray do not let me disturb you: I'll sro for some 
myself. I should be desperate at the thought of interrupting your les- 
son—music is such a bewitching accomplishment. What were those 
lovely words you sang just now. dear Herr Von Vogelsang ? 

Von V. ' ; Liebster, deine Worte stehlen 

Aus dem Busen mir das Herz." 



20 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mrs. C. Enchanting! Do go on. 

Von V. '• O wie kann ich dir verhelileu 

Heine Wonne, meinen Schiiiera." 

Mrs. C. (transported). Heavenly lines I (aside) I'd give a good deal 
to know just what it ail means. [Exit, R. 1 e. 

Von V. (suddenly seizing Maud's hands). Meine Maudlin ! 

Maud (rising). Sir! (going to r.) I have already begged you not to 
call me by that horrid name — I don't like it. 

Von V. {following her). Mees 

Maud. You seem to take a savage delight in frightening me. Even 
before my aunt you have had the audacity to— to — (lowering her eyes) 
For shame ! 

Von V. (supplicating). Ah, pardon me! 

Maud. No, sir; I will not pardon you. Your behavior is inexcusable. 

Von V. Alas, mees, pity me ere you condemn, (earnestly) Weil you 
know that I love you ! 

Maud, (severely). Sir! You forget that I am engaged. 

Vox V. (wringing his hands). Engaged ! And to whom ? To a man 
whom you do not love — whom you do not know! (she starts) Only three 
times have you seen him, and yet 

Maud. My father knows him. 

Von V. No better than I do. Were I to tell you 

Maud. What? 

Von V. (dramatically). No, my lips are sealed! Marry this man — 
marry liim and be happy — (raising his eyes to heaven) if yon can ! 

Maud. Why shouid I not be happy? 

Von V. (violently). Because— (suddenly commanding himself ) Tso, 
my lips are sealed. I will tell you all later. 

Maud. But, sir, I beg you 

Enter Mortimer Cleverly, r. d. f.. without seeing Maud and Von 

Vogelsang. 

Cleverly. Y T es. it is absolutely my duty to speak. 

Maud (going to Cleverly). Good morning, uncle. 

Clev. Ab, is it you? Good morning, my dear, (bows to Von Vogel- 
sang. ) 

Maud. Is my trousseau ready? 

Clev. What trousseau? 

Maud. Why, the trousseau that aunt ordered for me. 

Clev. (absently). Oh, yes. No— that is, I don't know. 

Maud. Have you not been to the i •• ss-maker's? 

Clev. Yes— I mean no. I doa't ...iow anything about it! 

Maud (aside). What can be the matter with him? 

Clev. (aside). Yes, I must speak out ; procrastination is out of the 
question, (aloud) Is your father in his sanctum ? (turns up stage toward 

L. D. F.) 

Maud. Yes; doubtless you will find him with my aunt. 
Clev. (stai'ting). With my wife ! I will return in a moment. 
Maud. Shall I call him? 
Clev. (quickly). No, no ! — unnecessary. I'll be back shortly. 

[Exit, L. D. F. 
Maud (aside). What has happened? 

Enter Mrs. Cleverly, r. 1 e. 
Mrs. C. What, is the lesson over? 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 21 

Von V. Yes. madame. Mees Maud seemed to feel a little fatigued. 
Mrs. C. Ob, I'm so sorry. I should have been so glad to have heard 
her play that -'Tempest of Love" again. 

Enter John Henry Robinson l. d. f. 

Ah, here comes my brother! {going to him) Too late! — the lesson is 
over. 

Rob. That's the reason I came. 

Yon Y. {graciously) . Mr. Robinson does not love music? 

Rob. No. sir ; I can't bear it. 

Von V. I much regret, {aside) Cold as ice. {aloud, saluting) Good 
morning, sir. 

Rob. '{tartly). Good morning. 

Yon V. {saluting the ladies). Mrs. Cleverly — Mees Maud, {aside, turn- 
ing to go) Courage, now! As one says in this barbarous country, it 
will be necessary to take the horns of the bull ! 

[Exit, R. .. F. 

Rob. I can't abide that simpering ape. 

Mrs. C. {indignantly). Is it possible?— and he such an incomparable 
artist! 

Rob. I do not regard him in the light of an artist ; as a man he is 

Mrs. C. Charming— perfectly charming. 

Rob. Speak for yourself. 

Mus. C. (piqued). For myself, and everybody else. 

Rob. Oh. well, I don't propose to argue the point, (to Maud, who 
shows signs of emotion) What is the matter with you ? 

Mrs. C. Why, yes ! Dear child, how pale you are ! 

Maud. It is nothing. I am not quite well— a little nervous. The 
idea of leaving you -of marrying a man— Ah ! (falls weeping upon the 
piano-stool.) 

Mrs. C. {going to her). Poor dear! She is so impressionable — me all 
over again. 

Rob. My dear Maud, command yourself. 

Maud {rising). Mar— marry me to a m — man I don't even know! 

Rob. What! You don't know him? and yet he sends you a bouquet 
every evening! 

Maud. I met him at the opera for the first time, only a month airo ! 

Rob. What difference does that make? People must be satisfied to 
meet wherever they can. Are you aware where I first met your moth- 
er? 'Twas on a parade-ground during a display of lire-works. There 
is no reason why you should not be as happy as your mother was. 

Maud. If Mr. Smythe only loved me! But he doesn't even look at 
me. 

Rob. That's true! I've remarked thnt fact, and I have called him to 
an account. " You don't pay my daughter sufficient attention," I said; 
and he replied, 'I know I don't." 

Maud. Just think of it ! 

Rob. But lie added, '-This treatment is only for the time beimr. I 
am at present overwhelmed with a serious affair, which claims all my 
attention ; when I have straightened it out T shall be at your daughter's 
service." So I suppose you must wnit until he is straightened out. 

Mrs. C. Your father is riirht, my dear; we must not judge Mr. Smythe 
by appearances only. At heart I am sure he is an excellent fellow. 

Maud, (sighing), I hope so. aunt. 



22 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mrs. C. Then cheer up, ami turn your attention to the auspicious day. 
Is your wedding-dress ready? 

Maud. Yes: all but the'wreath and veil. 

Mrs. C. They will be here shortly. I have ordered them of a new 
milliner, who was recommended to me, in spite of your uncle's oppo- 
sition. 

Maud {laughing). What had uncle to do with it? 

Mus. C. Nothing at ail, as I very soon gave him to understand. 

Enter a Maid r. d. f. 

Maid. There is a messenger here from the milliner. 

Mrs. C. Ah ! Let her come in. [Exit Maid, r. d. f. 

Eater, r. d. f., Amelia Thompson, with a bandbox, which she places 
upon the table. 

Amelia. Good morning, ladies, (perceiving Robinson) Ah ! 

Rob. {recognizing Amelia). Oh ! 

Mrs. C. {surprised), Are you and my brother acquainted? 

Amelia {embarrassed). Slightly. Yes, I— I met the gentleman at 
the last house where I worked- where he came iu the capacity of archi- 
tect. 

Mrs. C. and Maud. Architect ! 

Rob. {quickly). That is, as the friend of the architect. He — er — in- 
vited me to accompany him, don't you see? 

Amelia. Yes— don't you see? (pointing to Robinson) Mr. Strath- 
more ■■ 

Rob. {aside to Amelia). Robinson. 

Amelia {taking the hint). Yes : Mr. Robinson called frequently with 
liis friend, {aside to Robinson) A word with you before I leave this 
house. 

Rob. (aside. Here's confusion worse confounded ! 

Mrs. C. to Maud). Come, my dear, let us try on the wreath, {takes 
bandbox from table and turns up stage.) 

Amelia. Pardon me, but the young lady is not dressed. 

Maud. Is it necessary? 

Amelia. Certainly, miss : it is indispensable. The head-dress is made 
to accompany the rest of the toilet. 

Rob. Of course. Otherwise we could not jnd<re of the effect. 

Mrs. C. {to Maud). Come, my dear; I will assist you. This young 
woman will wait a moment. 

Amelta. Certainly, mad a me. [Exit Mrs. C. and Maud, r. 1 e. 

Amelia (sternly). Now. sir, explain ! 

Rob. Explain what? 

Amelia. Has Madame Mirabella deceived me? 

Rob. Why didn't she tell me 

Amelta. Come, come! We have 110 time to lose. In two words: — 
Is it true that you have sought my hand through Madame Mirabella? 

Rob She ottered it to me, but she did not tell me that 

Amelta. What? 

Rob. That you were \v, the employ of my si3ter. That alters the case. 

Amelta. Then you refuse? 

Bob. By no means! (aside) Bless my stars, slip's a regular little bully! 
{aloud) I do not refuse : I only ask time tor reflection. 

Amelia (sadly). 1 thought as much ! I knew you would never marry 
me. 



THE GKEAT HINDOO SECEET. 23 

Rob. Did I say I would not? {aside) What remarkably tine eyes! 

Amelia. We poor girls never did stand any show ! 

Rob. Why not? (approaching and taking her hand) Especially when 
they are young and pretty. 

Amelia. We are deceived, as vou have deceived me I 

Rob. I? 

Amelia. We are decoyed into so-called matrimonial agencies I 

Rob. I beg your pardon 

Amelia. Oh, it is outrageous !— infamous ! 

Rob. (aside). Anger becomes her. How the Philpot Browne blood 
does tell ! (aloud) You don't know me, my dear. I'm a man of princi- 
ple, and it was in accordance with my principles that I requested Mine. 
Mirabel la to 

Amelia. Why did you conceal your name? 

Rob. Goodness gracious ! listen to me. I was prudent. If they 
should suspect in this house that I contemplated a second marriage, and 
that too with a person in your station 

Amelia (proudly). I would have you to understand, sir, that I might 
have been an alderman's wife! 

Rob. And yet you stuck to dress-making ? Mind, I don't reproach 
you; but in my case, you see, we are obliged to consider social preju- 
dices. People might wonder that a man having an income of live 
thousand a year 

Amelia (quickly). Have you so much ? 

Rob. I have.— Should marry a young woman who has only a certain 
grace, good looks 

Amelia. And her dowry. 

Rob. Yes, I know; five thousand dollars from your god-father, Philpot 
Browne. 

Amelia (puzzled). Who? 

Rob. Oh. I have inquired into the standing of your family. I know 
that they hold property in Hoboken. (Amelia regards him with aston- 
ishment) Then, too, Madame Mirabella drew quite a faithful picture of 
your qualities. She said you were amiable — that I saw yesterday; 
quick-tempered— that I see to-day; and gay— that we shall see. (Amelia 
smiles) Yes, you a re gay ! 

Amelia (modestly). Nonsense I 

Rob. In a word, Madame Mirabella has revealed all — all except your 
being in the employ of my sister,- which complicates matters. However,, 
you pleiise me, and you shah be my wife. 

Amelia (embarrassed). But. really 

Rob. I only demand one week of mystery: that is, until I have got 
my daughter off' my hands. Were my future son-in-law to get wind of 
my intentions, he'd break up the whole thing. 

Amelia. Then you fear 

Rob. He has our future lives all cut and dried to suit himself. I never 
met so methodical a. fellow as this same Rutherford Smythe, 
. Amelia (starting). What did you say ?— Rutherford 

Rob. Smythe. Do you know him? 

Amelta. Slightly. He used sometimes to call at the shop, {aside) 
Here is a go 1 

Enter Rctheefoed Smythe, r. d. f. 

Ruth. My dear father-in-law— (perceives Amelia) Amelia I (recoils, 
stupefied.). 



24 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Rob. (to Amelia). He seems surprised to see you. (to Rutherford, 
laughingly) Don't be alarmed ; this young lady will not betray you. 

Ruth, (stammering). All! She — I — you know all'.' 

Rob. She has brought something for Maud, but she won't speak of 
your capers when you visited the shop where she worked, you siy dog. 

Ruth, (blankly). Ah ! Yes, yes— capers, (glancing at Amelia, who 
remains unmoved) Yes, capers. 

Rob. (laughing). But you mustn't cut up any more, you know. 

Ruth. No, no; certainly not. (aside) In Heaven's name, what does 
lie mean ? (glancing at Amelia) Something terrible must have taken 
place. 

Rob. Ah ! here come the ladies. 

Enter, r. 1 k, Mrs. Cleverly and Maud, the latter in wedding costume. 

Mrs. C. Mr. Smytlie, permit me to present to you your bride elect! 
(leading Maud forward) What have you to say? 

Ruth, (aside, lost in a reverie). Something terrible must have taken 
place, that's certain! 

Maud. You see. aunt, he no more hears than sees us! 

Mrs. C. (calling). Mr. Smythe ! 

Ruth, (saluting). Eh? What? Ah, I beg pardon. You look re- 
markably well. Thanks. How are you? 

Mrs. C. What an absent-minded man ! (to Amelia) Now, then, young 
woman, if you will adjust this pleat. 

Rob. (turning tip stage). If you are going to talk dry-goods, I'm off. 
Will you come along, Rutherford? 

Ruth, (relieved). With all ray heart ! 

Amelia, (advancing imperiously). Remain, Mr. Smytlie! 

Ruth, (crushed). On second thoughts, I think I'll remain. 

[ Exit Robinson, r. d. f. 

Mrs. C. (to Rutherford). That's very nice in you ; and to repay 
you — look ! (she turns Maud around towards him ) 

Ruth. Magnificent! The flowers are superb, and most artistically 
arranged. 

Mrs. C. (pointing to Amelia). The work of this young woman. 

Ruth. Indeed! She certainly has a practised hand. 

Mrs. C. I know whom I employ, (to Maud) Now. my dear, we had 
better lay aside these robes for a more auspicious moment, (removes the 
wreath and veil and hands them to Amelia) Be good enough to replace 
these in the box. 

Amelia (going to table). Very well, madam. 

Mrs. C. (to Maud). Come, my dear, (to Rutherford) Mr. Smytlie 
will await our return. [Exit with Maud. r. 1 e. 

Amelia. At last we are alone, (advancing upon Rutherford men- 
acingly) So you intend to be married? 

Ruth, (confused). Well, you see. I 

Amelia. Your reason for "being mnrried ? 

Ruth. I am driven to it! I explained the situation in my letter. 

Amelia. What letter? 

Ruth, (naturally). Haven't yon received it? Well, you'll find it when 
you get home. It's an extremely nice letter, if I do say it— explains 
everything in a nutshell— all about my future, my unreasonable superior, 
the evening at the opera ; in fact, it's a pocket edition of my existence 
for the past three months. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 25 

Amelia {suppressing her anger). And do you suppose that this 
<; pocket edition " will suffice ? 

Ruth. I have also written a few verses on the subject, {drawing a 
manuscript from his pocket) See! 

Amelia {repulsing him). I don't want to look at them. 

Ruth. {wiilt injured air). You make a great mistake. 

Amelia. He dares to affront me with his verses. What insolence ! 

Ruth, {gently). What! Are we vexed with each other? Can we 
not separate amicably ? I am to be married, it is true; but then, so are 
you. 

Amelia {quickly). You knew theu that 

Ruth, {tranquilly). I know that ail has been arranged. Madame 
Mirabeila has informed me that she has presented you to one of her 
clients, that he was pleased with you, that you were pleased with him, 
and that a marriage between you has been agreed upon. Thereupon I 
determined to write to you, {sentimentally) not wishing to seek your 
congratulations until I couid otter you mine. 

Amelia. And so it was to you that the idea occurred 

Ruth. Of marrying you on? Yes, my dear. 

Amelia. And tne live thousand dollars? 

Ruth. Also originated with me. 

Amelia. How about my god-father ? 

Ruth, {bowing and smiling). Your humble servant I 

Amelia. But who is Philpot Browne? 

Ruth. Myself— this omnipresent I ! 

Amelia. Very clever iiuieed, sir. 

Ruth, {modestly). So I flutter myself. 

Amelia {becoming excited). So 'you are content with yourself, are 
you? You fancy you have achieved something delicate, grand, noble, 
chivalrous. Scoundrel! 

Ruth, {amazed). Amelia ! 

Amelia {indignantly). And this was the man I loved! This (he man 
to whom I would have sacrificed youth, freedom, and family! (Ruther- 
ford starts) Yes, my family, my ancestors— true gentlemen, who would 
have scorned to skulk behind an assumed name for the purpose of con> 
mining an odious deed ! 

Ruth. Pray, what do you menu ? 

Amelia. Hurl the woman you loved into the arms of another ! 

Ruth, {vexed). I beg your 

Amelia. You no longer love me. and naturally wish to be rid of me. 
I suppose I ought to be in despair— take my life perhaps ; but in retaiu- 
taining the right to hate you, I shall not forget to despise you ! 

Ruth, {gently). Oh, well, my dear, what is the use of creating a scene 
when the whole tiling is satisfactorily arranged? 

Amelia {scornfully). You consider it so, "do you? 

Ruth. Of course you need not accept the hand which has been offered 
you. 

Amelia {quickly). Nor more I shall ! 

Ruth. But Madame Mirabeila told me 

Amelia. It is false! 

Ruth, {shrugging his shoulders). Well, what is done can't be undone. 
My marriage is an accomplished fact: the certificate is drawn up, and 
in a week's time I shall have ceased to be a Benedick. 

Amelia. Consequently I must hold my peace, eh ? There is just one 
thing about it -you have been treacherous, cruel, cowardly; but vou 
have been frank. I congratulate you, Mr. Philpot Browne \ 



26 THE GEEAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Ruth, (angrily), I accept ) our congratulations : and in return I <»iy e 
you live thousand dollars. It's quite a sum, and don't you forget it. 

Amelia. It's cheap enough for what you gain, sir ! 

Ruth. Plenty of people in my place would not have allowed you one 
red cent. 

Amelia. Insolence ! 

Kith. Beware lest you raise my ire ! (turns up stage and sits upon 
sofa at bade.) 

Amelia {aside). Oh, for revenge I Well, if he forces me to it, let the 
consequences rest upon his head ! (aloud) Weil, sir, I resign. You are 
free to marry Miss Robinson, (turns up stage.) 

Ruth, (surprised). Eh 1 

Amelia (leaning upon mantelpiece). I have no wish to be an obsta- 
cle in your path. 

Ruth, (rising and approaching Iter). Now, that's hearty! (gently) I 
see you understand that my future 

Amelia. Necessitates some sacrifices, of course. 

Ruth. Exactly. I have been informed that were I a married man. im- 
position would be bettered. Besides, Mr. Robinson is wealthy, has but 
one daughter, and is a widower. 

Amelia.^ Ah ! Is he a widower ? 

Ruth. Yes. You see the bait is tempting— no mother-in-law ! 

Amelia (ironically). I see! No mother-in-law I (she comes down 
stage.) 

Ruth, (aside). She's all right! 

Amelia (aside). No mother-in-law, eli ? It shall be my duty to see 
that he has one ! 

Ruth. So, then, you pardon me ? 

Amelia. Silence ! Some one is coming, (she seats herself near table.) 

Filter Mrs. Cleverly, r. 1. e. 

Mrs. C. There! I've left Maud with her governess. It strikes me, 
Mr. Smvthe, that you might go and relieve the governess. 

Ruth! I. Mrs. Cleverly ? 

Mrs. C. Certainly. It is a duty which I fear you neglect; in fact, 
Maud complains. (Rutherford starts) But then we know that lliat 
famous affair is engrossing all your attention. Will it be settled before 
long? 

Ruth. It is settled already— definitely settled. 

Mrs. C. Ah ! Then spread the wings of love, fly to her and make up 
for lost time. 

Rutit. With pleasure, Mrs. Cleverly— with all my— (to glance en- 
counters Unit of Amelia; he pauses abruptly— with changed tone) my 
conscience! [Exit, hurriedly, R. 1 e. 

Mrs. C. [to Amelia). Now I will run over to the shop with you, as V 
have some further orders to give ; but we must make haste, for I never 
know what may take plnce during my absence. You see. my husband 
is wholly incompetent to take my place. (Mortimer Cleverly puts his 
head in at l. d. f.) 

Clev. Honoria! (closes door precipitately.) 

Mrs. C. (to Amema). Are you acquainted with my husband? 

Amelia. No, madam. 

Mrs. C. Well, he's a complete nonentity. He was specially created 
for me to use— to run errands for me, and the like.. 

Amelia. Indeed? 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 27 



Enter Robinson, r. d. f. 

Rob. Is Cleverly not here? 

Mbs. C. No. 

Rcb. Why. they told me lie bad just come in. 

Mrs. C. i haven't seen him; I have kept no track of him for the past 
two days. He breakfasts before I am up, and comes home long after I 
have retired. I fail to understand his behavior. 

Rob. Can it be that you suspect 

Mrs. C. Nothing! Poor man, he is incapable of any sort of an ir- 
regularity. All the same, we shall have an explanation, {to Amelia) 
Come. 

Robinson opens r. d. f. and salutes the ladies as they exit. Simulta- 
'neoiisly Cleverly opens L. d. f. and peeps in. 

Clev. Are they gone ? 

Rob. What! Are you there? 

Clev. {coming down rapidly). Hush ! 

Rob. {surprised, aside). What ails the man ? {aloud) Didn't you want 
your wife to see you ? 

Clev. Not before her ! That's why I concealed myself. I had no 
idea she had brought her here. 

Rob. Brought who here? 

Clev. That young girl, Amelia. 

Rob. {quickly). You know her? 

Clev. Know her! {raising his arms to heaven) Ah, my friend! {falls 
upon sofa at back. ) 

Rob. {aside). So, so! {aloud) Pray how came you to know her? 

Clev. Were I to tell you, you would not believe me. 

Rob. {nervously). In Heaven's name, what do you mean ? 

Clev. She is my daughter ! 

Rob. {recoiling). Nonsense ! 

Clev. (rising). The daughter from whom I have sought to estrange 
myself, but whom fate, with savage irony, has sent to me when I can 
least afford to receive her. Do you follow me? 

Rob. No: I am compelled to admit that I am off the track entirely. 
What! You have a daughter? 

Clev. Yes, my friend. You now know the secret of my existence— the 
terrible secret which I had determined never to reveal to you ; but fate 
lias decreed otherwise. Therefore I confide in you. 

Rob. {wringing his hand). Thanks, brother-in-law. 

Clev. The story I have to tell you dates back to a brilliant epoch in 
my life. 

Rob. {astonished). Have you enjoyed a brilliant epoch? 

Clev. A dazzling one! {posing) Though still a line-looking man, 
(Robinson makes a grimace) I am nothing to what I was at twenty- 
two. Perhaps I need not tell you what a lady-killer I was forty year3 
ago? 

Rob. No, no ; pray don't trouble yourself. Leave that to my imagi- 
nation. 

Clev. Among the ladies of my acquaintance there was one who vowed 
me eternal adoration. (Robinson starts) The word may strike you as 
strong, but I assure you I never met such abject devotion. 

Rob. Who was this person ? 

Clev. A dramatic artiste, named Titania, 



28 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Rob. Lovely title ! 

Clev. No less lovely than its owner. Well, we were married. One 
year later Titania left me. to play an engagement in New Orleans. On 
the very first night the theatre was burned, and I piousiy buried the 
charred remains of my fair wife — in my imagination. 

Rob. Rather a festive cemetery, eh? 

Clev. I beg you not to make light of a serious subject. — Five years 
passed, and L married your sister. The very day after the wedding, 
(with a sigh)]\\$i as I was beginning to understand the gravity of im- 
position, {drawing a letter from his pocket) I received this letter. 

Rob. A love-letter? 

Clev. Listen and judge, (reading) "Dearest Mortimer — If you have 
not iost all recollection of the wife who once passionately loved you, and 
if you are still the noble-hearted fellow you once were, go to New Or- 
leans, seek out the boarding house of Mrs. Bender, and claim your four- 
year-old daughter. In bidding you farewell, understand that I do not 
blame you for deserting me, since sooner or later I should have deserted 
you. When you read these lines I shall have left the country to remain 
remain abroad until I become rich enough and old enough to claim you. 
Yours for all eternity, Titanta." 

Rob. Rich and old enough ! Has she never returned ? 

Clev. Never. And, as you may surmise, I am not particular about 
her returning. Had I no wife — but unfortunately I am married, and 
your sister is the last person in the world to whom I could teil this 
story. 

Rob. No, she wouldn't take kindly to it. 

Clev. I have reared my daughter as best I could, passing for the 
steward of the family. She calls me old Dickson. Do you appreciate 
my position? 

Rob. Perfectly. 

Clev. Two days since my wife took it into her head to trade at the 
very shop where Amelia is employed. Naturally I am wild with appre- 
hension — have almost ceased to exist. Ah, my friend, help me out of 
this mess if you can. 

Dob. (smiling). Fear nothing. — Far from discouraging me, your nar- 
rative fills me with profound jov. 

Clev. Eh? 

Rob. I foresee the dawn of a new era of happiness and tranquillity 
for us both. 

Clev. How so ? 

Rob. This young girl, whom you dare not introduce to the family, 
shall enter it— upon my arm, as my wife? 

Clev. You will do this for me? (excitedbj) Ah, what disinterestedness ! 

Rob. But I find her charming. 

Clev. No, no ; do not attempt to depreciate your act. You are noble 
to marry a girl without a cent to her name ! 

Rob. I beg vou pardon ; she has five thousand dollars! 

Clev. What? 

Rob. Five thousand dollars from her god-father! 

Clev. But she has no god-father. 

Rob. Certainly she has— a Mr. J. Philpot Browne, of Hobok'en. 

Clev. Who told you that? 

Rob. The person at whose house I met her, Madame Mirabella, of 
Second Avenue. But Amelia wiil tell you herself. 

Clev. Does Amelia know this god-lather? 

Rob. Of course she does. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 29 

Clev. She never spoke to me of him. 

Kob. It may be a secret. 

Clev. A secret ! Do you believe it to be a secret ? 

Kob. How should I know ? 

Clev. Heavens ! A suspicion assails me. Suppose she were already 
engaged ? 

Rob. To whom ? 

Clev. To this Philpot Browne. Whence comes he? Why does he 
conceal himself? 

Rob. That's a fact ! 

Clev. Then you have your doubts ? I see you have. It is my duty 
to interview this Philpot Browne. Where does he live? 

Rob. You must inquire of Madame Mirabella. 

Clev. I fly! {rushes up stage to r. d. f., and encounters the Maid, 
who enters.) 

Maid. This way, if you please, sir. 

Enter Colonel Bolster, r. d. f. Exit Maid. 

Rob. {to Cleverly). Stny ! — Here is Madame Mirabella's butler. 
Colonel {frigidly). 1 beg your pardon, sir; I am no butler, but a 

Bolster— Harry Bolster, Colonel of 

Rob. Can you tell us Philpot Browne's address? 

Colonel. Certainh 7 , sir. The Terrace, Hoboken. 

Clev. Thanks, very much. I'm off to the ferry! 

Rob. Wait a moment. 

Clev. {wildly). Wait, when my happiness and safety at stake? Never ! 

[Bushes off r. d. f. 
^RoB.itrying to detain him). Cleverly! 
Colonel {detaining Robinson). Beg pardon, sir;— two words with 

you. 

Rob. (pausing). With me? 

Colonel. Doubtless you suspect the motive of my visit. 

Rob. No. sir; and I am much surprised 

Colonel. In the first place, here is your overcoat which you left at 
Madame Mirabella's. 

Rob. Thank you, 

Colonel. And this card you left in the overcoat. Through it we have 
learned your true name, though at the same time we have discovered 
with regret vour lack of confidence in us. 

Rob. "Thai's a fact ! 

Colonel {haughtily). Sir ! 

Rob. No, no ! Pardon me ; I intended only to be discreet. 

Colonel. If it was discretion merely, I have nothing to say. 

Rob. Pure discretion, I assure you. 

Colonel. Very well. The object of my visit is explained; Madame 
Mirabella having appealed to my honor as a gentleman, I could not re- 
fuse. 

Rob. Of course you couldn't. 

Colonel. So, then, you have not renounced the proposition made you 
by Madame Mirabella? 

Rob. By no means ! 

Colonel. Then you will be present at our little soire'e this evening, 
my dear Mr. Robinson? 

Rob. Heavens! Don't call me Robinson. I shall be very much 



30 THE GREAT HINDOO SECEET. 

obliged to you if for the time being, at least, you will permit me to re- 
main plain Strathinore. It can make no difference to you. 

Colonel. Not the slightest. 

Rob. I wish to be discreet, you understand. 

Colonel. Discretion is one of my weak points, {saluting) Good day. 
Mr. Sim tli more. Charmed to have renewed your acquaintance, (as he 
is about to exit by k. d. f. he encounters the Maid, and chucks her un- 
der the chin) All, you little rogue ! [Exit. 

Maid (glancing after Colonel). I wonder what they call that thing. 
(announcing to Robertson) A letter for you, sir. 

Rob. (starting). Give it me. (Maid gives letter to Robinson and exits) 
Brought by messenger, eh? (he breaks the seal) I don't recognize this 
writing— must be a strange hand, {reading) "Dear Sir — I have the ut- 
most disdain for people who write anonymous letters, but such missives 
assume an honorable cast when addressed to the blind.'' — What does 
that mean? {reading) "Know then, sir, that the course of life led by 
your future son-in-law is perfectly scandalous." — Eh? what's this? 
{reading) ; 'He i3 a cruel deceiver; js engaged to several young ladies, 
and notably to one whom he has no right to desert." — The devil ! (read- 
ing) "I will write no more to-day."— I rather think that will be suffi- 
cient. Signed "A Music-hater." — Now, who can that be? 

Enter Rutherford Smythe, r. d. f., 'wearing a sprightly air. 

Ah, Rutherford! (aside) He comes most opportunely. 

Ruth. Ah, my dear father-in-law! Delighted to see you. 

Rob. I return the compliment. 

Ruth. I have just passed a delicious half-hour with your charming 
daughter. I don't think I fully appreciated how unutterably charming- 
she is. 

Rob. Indeed! 

Ruth. Such amiability, grace and delicacy— she is lovely ! 

Rob. (repressing his anger). I am glad you tind her so. 

Ruth. We talked over lots of tilings— literature, the fine arts, political 
economy, physics — she's well posted upon all topics -understands all 
the questions of the day. You're a happy father. 

Rob. Ami not? 

Ruth. And I shall be a happy husband, for we understand each other 
perfectly now, and I love her, sir, I love her ! 

Rob. (losing command of himself). And how about vour other sweet- 
hearts? 

Ruth, (recoiling aghast). My sweet 

Rob. Here's a letter just received. 

Ruth, (glancing rapidly at letter). Oh ! this is infamous ! You have 
pinned your faith upon an anonymous letter, instead of despising 

Rob. Sir, I do despise it, but I cannot ignore it ; and my paternal 
duly obliges me to question you. Is it true that you are engaged to 
another than my daughter? Answer me! 

Ruth. Yes. I was engaged, but am now free to marry vour daughter. 

Rob. What proof have I of this fact? 

Ruth, (simply). My present attitude, sir. 

Rob. (angrily). Bah ! What are you giving me? 

Ruth. Giving you, sir? I am trying to persuade you that had I not 
broken my chain, you would not see me here to-day. free, smiling, joy- 
ous: (talcing Robinson's hand) for I am joyous as a bird ! 

Rob. (sulkily). Don't paw me ! 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 31 

Ruth. This very morning I was gloomy, nervous, anxious ; but now 
I breathe again, laugh, joke, and dream of your daughter. 

Rob. {sternly). I forbid you! 

Ruth, (gently). Excuse me, but I have the start of you there. I told 
you lii at, when my business had been adjusted 

Rob. What! was that your business ? 

Ruth. What business but a youthful adventure I was determined to 
liquidate, could engross me at such a time? I am a methodical person, 
sir. and before turning my attention to the present, I wished to shake 
off the past. 

Rob. And have you succeeded in shaking it off ? 

Ruth. To the last Heck I I am a methodical person, sir, and when I 
shake 1 shake. 

Rob. BuL who shall say that your heart will not return to this woman. 
at some future time? Old passions do breakout. Were the chains 
which you have sundered to be forged again, would you have the strength 
to 

Ruth, (tranquilly). No, I admit that I shoukurt have 

Rob. (starting). Eh? 

Ruth. I am very weak. But I have taken precautions, (smiling) I 
have secured a husband for the lady in question. 

Rob. What! could any man be fool enough to ■ 

Ruth. Ah, the fools are not all dead yet 

Rob. (laughing). Fortunately not. 

Ruth. Very fortunately— for 'me. There is no doubt about it; the 
fellow is an unadulterated imbecile- (laughing) Big joke, isn't it? 

Rob. laughing). Immense! (they both laugh xociforously) But — but 
what will he say when he discovers the truth? 

Ruth. Who— the husband? 

Rob. Yes, the imbecile. 

Ruth. Oh. he'll be all right; the dowry will stop his mouth. 

Rob. (laughing). Is there a dowry ? 

Ruth. Why, certainly; and it has cost me a pretty penny. 

Rob. (roaring with laughter). God bless my soul, thejolve is so rich 
I can't be angry with you. Give me your hand, (they s/iake hands cor- 
dially and continue to laugh.) 

Enter Von Vogelsang, r. d. f.. and pauses in amazement. 

Von V. (aside). What! they are shaking hands! Douner-wetter ! Was 
it for this I counterfeited my hand-writing? 

Rob. Stay! Here's the piano-fiend, (to Von V.) Did you wisli to 
speak to me, sir ? 

Von V. (advancing and saluting). Yes, sir. I— I came to request 
the honor of— (aside) My heart faints: I cannot 

Rob. Well, sir, what is your request? 

Von V. (humbly). That you accept the dedication of my latest work, 
• " Love's Transport." 

Rob. Will my portrait be on the cover? 

Von V. Oh, certainly. 

Rob. (magnanimously). Ah, I accept, then — I accept, (turns his 
back on Von V.) 

Von V. (aside). That shot did not tell. Well, I must try the aunt 

Enter Mrs. Cleverly, precipitately, r. 1 e.. followed by Maud. 
Mrs. C. (excitedly). John Henry! 



32 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Rob. What's the matter? 

Mrs. C. {falling into a chair). Something has happened— something 

unprecedented, incredible, monstrous! 

Rob. What is it? 

Ruth. Speak ! 

Mrs. 0. My husband— Mortimer has fled ! 

Rob. Fled! where? 

Mrs. C. For some time his conduct has aroused my supicions. The 
man no longer breakfasts, dines, nor sleeps at home. I followed him 
this morning, tracked him to the ferry, and witnessed his departure on 
the eleven-fifty-two boat ! (bursting into tears) He's gone over to 
Jersey ! 

Rob. What madness ! 

Mrs. C. He has abandoned me, the rascal ! 

Rob. Listen to me. 

Mrs. C. Of course I know his path was not strewn with roses, but 
{rising with spirit) I had my share of the thorns. 

Rob. Command yourself. I tell you Mortimer has not deserted you. 

Mrs. C. Then why did he take that ferry? 

Rob. Simply to go over to Hoboken. 

Mrs. C. Hoboken ! What is he doing in Hoboken? 

Rob. {hesitating). I— I don't know. 

Mrs. C. Say, rather, that you are ashamed to confess. He has an 
appointment with a rival of mine! 

Ruth, (shocked). Mrs. Cleverly ! 

Maud. Aunt! 

Mrs. C. Go away, my dear ; do not listen. Scandals are not for your 
ears, (turns up stage.) 

Rob. (following her). Calm yourself, Honoria. 

Mrs. C. (wildJy). Calm myself! (wringing her hands) There, I am 
calm. See? Ha, ha, ha ! (falls hysterically upon sofa at back.) 

Maud. Dear aunt! Heavens! she has fainted! Help! water! salts! 

[Bushes offn. 1 e. 

Mrs. C. (rising suddenly). Is there no man among you? 

Vox Y. (advancing). Yes, madam. Behold one! 

Ruth, (examining Yon Y. with an eye-glass). I shouldn't have sus- 
pected it ! 

Mrs. C. {seizing Yon Y.'s hand). Good ! Follow me ! 

Yon Y. Where? 

Mrs. C. To Hoboken ! 

[Bushes off d. c. f., dragging ' Y on Y. with her. 

Rob. She's mad ! (rushes after Mrs. C.) Honoria ! Sister! 

Simultaneously Maud and the Maid enter, r. 1 e.. with a glass of water 
and vinaigrette. Maud flies into Rutherford's arms. 

CURTAIN. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 33 

ACT III. 

SCENE.— TJie parlor in Madame Mirabella's suite, Second Avenue. 

As the curtain rises, Peter is discovered upon step-ladder, lighting 
ike chandelier. Enter The Unknown at back, in grotesque evening 
dress. He blunders down the stage and collides with the ladder. 

Unknown. Ah ! I beg pardon. 

Peter {starting and looking down— aside). Humph ! I might have 
known it was lie. 

Unknown (timidly). Really I beg pardon ! Is- is Madame ■• 

Peter {airily). Madame Mirabella is dressing. Do you wish to speak 
to her? 

Unknown {hesitating). Yes— and no. Don't you see Pve come to the 
soiree? 

Peter. At this hour ! 

Unknown (siuyrised). Certainly. Look ! {he moves to the opposite 
side of the step-ladder and shows his invitation to Peter) The invita- 
tion says eight o'clock, {he shows his watch) It is eight o'clock! 

Peter {laughing). Well, if it says eight, it means niue! 

Unknown (abashed). Oh, does it? 

Peter {descending). Call in about nine. 

[Exit at back, carrying step-ladder. 

Unknown {gently). Thank you, I will, {as he is about to exit at back) 

Madame Mirabella enters r., in full evening costume. 

Mme. M. Why, good evening, my dear sir. How charming in you to 
CQnie (smiling) the first. 

Unknown. Yes, Pve just been informed that Pm ahead of time, but 
{turns up stage) Pm oft. 

Mme. M. Oh. remain, I beg of you. {smiling) We'll take advantage of 
the opportunity to have a little chat, (sitting upon sofa and -pointing to 
a chair close at hand) Pray be seated. 

Unknown (sitting, doubtfully). May I inquire whether you have yet 
discovered the person who consents to link her destiny with mine? 

Mme. M. Oh, not yet. I have consulted the oracle who presides over 
oar Great Hindoo Secret, and it requests its priestess to bid you to be 
patient. Marriage, as I understand it, should be the result of reflection : 
and I would not have you contract one of those hap-hazard unions which 
are so much in vogue. 

Unknown (gently). No more would I. 

Mme. M. Then we understand each other. Grant me my own good 
time, and I flatter myself that ere long I shall be able to present to you 
a spouse after your own heart. 

Unknown. But she must understand how to tend shop! 

Mme. M. Yes, I know— the business your aunt, left you. I shall make 
a note of that. When I inform you that I have chosen a, wife for you, 
you will discover in her all those qualities which should grace the person 
who is destined to bear your name. 

Unknown. You are too good, madame! 

Mme. M. Oh, not at all. {rising) 1 do my duty — that is all. Ah, here 
comes the Colonel. 



34 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 



Enter Colonel Bolster, at back, 'with a grand flourish. 

Colonel {saluting). Fair lady! {bows to Unknown.) 

Mme. M. {to Unknown;. Will you permit me lo have a word in private 
wiih ibis gentleman ? 

Unknown Oil, pray don't mind me, madame, I beseech you. I will 
retire at once. 

Mme. M. So soon ? Why, the evening has not begun ! 

Unknown. I will return later, when tiiere are more folks about. 

Mme. M. No, no ! remain, {mysteriously) You presence may be — un- 
derstand me. may be necessary. 

Unknown {joyfully). Indeed ! 

Mme. M. {pointing to d. l.). Make yourself at home in my studio 
yonder ; you will find plenty of books and journals to amuse you. 

Unknown. Oh, I may drop asleep: that will amuse me best of all. 
{Exit l., accompanied to the door by Mme. M. 

Mme. M. {returning abruptly to Colonel). Well, have you been to 
Robinson's house? 

Colonel. Yes. By the by, he begs me not to call him Robinson, but 
Strathmore. He insists upon Strathmore. 

Mme. M. Does he? Why? 

Colonel. For private reasons. Knowing your principles of discre- 
tion, I suppose you will sympathize with him. 

Mme. M. Of course. But did you mention the five per cent. ? 

Colonel {shocked). Certainly not! That is a private matter, and has 
nothing whatever to do witli me. I represent you simply as a friend. 

.Mme. M. Still, even as a friend, you might have explained to him that 
he will be expected to pay live percent, upon 

Colonel. You will be able to explain in person, since he is to be 
present this evening. 

Mme. M. Ah ! then you reminded him 

Colonel. Of course I did. As a friend I am interested in the success 
of your soirt'e. 

Mme M. {turning up stage). I shall count upon you to receive the 
ladies in the hall and conduct them to my chamber, {'pointing to D. r.) 
where they may leave their wraps. 

Colonel. With pleasure ! 

Peter {announcing). Mr. J. Philpot Browne ! 

Colonel. Ah ! Browne. Ought I to tell him 

Mme. M. Later, Colonel, later! Leave me now. {hurries him off r.) 

Enter Rutherford Smythe. at back. 

Ruth, {advancing). You must pardon me, madame, for presenting 
myself at so early an hour, but 

Mme. M. Pray do not mention it, sir. 

Rrrrr. You see. I have not had an instant to myself since yesterday, 
to come to you and demand tidings of the little affair you have so kindly 
undertaken in my behalf. 

Mme. M. It is well under way. {smiling) We have already secured a 
suitor. 

Ruth. Yes, a person of the name of Strathmore. I understand. Nice 
fellow? 

Mme. M. Oh, excessively nice! Otherwise I should not have proposed 
him. 

Ruth. Young? 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECEET. 35 

Mme. M. Well, he has been younger; but he's just in the prime of 
life. 

Ruth. Better looking than I am? 

Mme. M. Oh, no! 

Ruth. That's good! (Mme. M. looks at him in surprise) I astonish 
you? It's only a little weakness, a bit of vanity— a god-father's vanity. 
{changing his tone) So, then, this Mr. Strathmore consents to live in the 
country? 

Mme. M. He will consent being a very tractable person. 

Ruth, {suddenly). Do you believe heil make her happy! 

Mme. M. I'm sure he will. 

Ruth. Thank Heaven! (sentimentally) Poor Amelia! I insist upon 
her being happy. 

Mme. M. You will be able to judge for yourself, however, since I have 
invited them both to my soiree. 

Ruth. Ah, that explaius this gala scene. You receive, then, this 
evening? 

Mme. M. I have invited vou. Didn't you receive rny letter? 

Ruth. No! 

Mme. M. I addressed it to Hoboken. 

Ruth, {quickly). To Hoboken ? I didn't return lust night I — I re- 
mained in the city. 

Mme. M. Didn't your god-daughter inform you that 

Ruth. I haven't seen her, nor have I been able to devote a single 
thought to her since I was here— I have been so absorbed in private 
affairs. 

Mme. M. Weil, she will be here presently with Mr. Strathmore, and 
you will see how wonderfully one becomes the other. 

Ruth. I only hope they do. {suddenly changing his tone) By the way, 
how much do i owe you? 

Mme. M. (graciously). Nothing at all ! 

Ruth. Oh, that is altogether too little. 

Mme. M. It could not well be less, I admit; still, if you care to reim- 
burse me for what I have laid out on stationery, postage and messenger 
fees, to bring (his thing about, {modestly) why, give me a trifling bank- 
note -(Rutherford produces pocket-book) but not this evening; to- 
morrow— (archly) to-morrow, between ten and eleven. 

Ruth. As you please, madame. And now, since you have been good 
enough to invite me to your soiree, I am going to fly to my hotel and 
make myself presentable for so auspicious an occasion. 

He salutes and turns up stage to encounter The Colonel, who enters 

at back. 

Colonel (facetiously). Ah, there you are. Mr. Browne! Very glad 
of this opportunity to take you by the forelock. 

Ruth, (aside). Impudent hireling ! 

Colonel. Permit me to return the fifty -cent piece which you gave me 
by mistake. 

Ruth. Was it counterfeit? 

Colonel. I'm sure I don't know; but 

Ruth. Well, there's another, to take its place, (tosses him a coin and 
exits at back. ) 

Colonel (wildly). Grent Scott! This is too much ! Here, Browne! 
Philpot! This is the second time 

Mme. M. He's <rone. 



36 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Colonel {coming down, excitedly). He takes me tor a domestic! 

Mme. M. What difference does it make to you? (changing her tone) 
Why have you deserted your post? 

Colonel. To inform you of the arrival of your young lady client. I 
duly installed her in the dressing-room, where she is putting a finishing 
touch to her crimps. 

Mme. M. Could you go and see why they don't send the ice-cream ? 

Colonel (nonplussed). I am at your service. 

Mme. M. Unless some one goes, it may not come at ali. Hurry it up, 
please. 

Colonel {turning up stage). So be it! I will hurry it up. {suddenly 
returning) But mind, I go as your friend ! 

Mme. M. {graciously). As my very good and obliging friend. 

Colonel kisses Mme. M.'s hand gallantly and exits at back, while 
Amelia Thompson enters d. r. 

Ah ! there you are, my dear child. Permit me. {kisses Amelia's fore- 
head) Consider me as your mother! {holding her at arm's length) How 
lovely you are ! I'm so sorry you didn't arrive live minutes earlier. 

Amelia (in surprise). Why ? 

Mme. M. You would have met your god-father. He has just left 
me. 

Amelia {quickly). Indeed ! 

Mme. M. Don't be alarmed; he will return. (Amelia sta)'ts) And you 
never thought to invite him! 

Amelia {embarrassed). True, madame, I 

Mme. M. {smiling). Ah, these youthful heads! Fortunately I am 
here; otherwise he and Mr. Strathmore would never become acquainted. 

Amelia (nervously). Do they wish to meet? 

Mme. M. Why, child! Of course your god-father wishes to meet his 
god-son-in-law that is to be. {she laughs and turns up stage.) 

Amelia {aside). Oh, what shall I do? How avert this terrible catas- 
trophe ? 

Enter Petunia Plummeb, at back, leaning upon the arm of a wild- 
looking Russian, whose breast is decorated with several orders. 

Mme. M. {advancing). Ah. my dear Petunia ! So glad to see you! 
We've been awaiting your arrival with impatience. 

Petunia. Permit me to present my good friend, Count Bluffski. 
Count, Madame Mirabella. {((side to Mme. M.) He doesn't understand 
nor speak a word of English. Stupid as an owl. 

Mme. M. {bowing graciously). Count! (the Count performs a pro- 
found salute in silence. To Petunia) In Heaven's name, where did 
you discover this fossil? 

Petunia. Oh, during one of my tours of exploration — found him in 
tow of a leader of fashion, wrested hi m from her clutches by reason of 
the little bad French which I speak and she doesn't, and here we are. I 
give it to you, my dear, for your cabinet, or to help out the Great Hin- 
doo Secret. 

Mme. M. How about the title? 

Petunia. Genuine. 

Mme. M. Any money? 

Petunia. Doubtful." 

Mme. M. He's worth cultivating ; but what is he good for? 



THE GKEAT HINDOO SECRET. 37 

Petunia. Ob, be can play whist by tbe hour. Cau't we get up a 
game ? 

Mme. M. Certainly. I ordered tbe Colonel to prepare several tables. 
Come with me. {to Amelia, who has seated herself upon the sofa) Will 
you join us? 

Amelia. Thank you, no. niadame. 

Mme. M. {laughing). Little rogue — sbe expects ber lover! {ceremoni- 
ously) Count ! {the Count offers his arms to Mme. M. and Petunia.) 

[Exeunt all three, at back. 

Amelia {nervously). Sbe teils me tbat be will be bere — tbat this ex- 
cellent god-lather of mine insists upon knowing bis future god-son-in- 
law ! What touching solicitude ! {rises) Ah, I am prepared to meet you, 
Mr. Browne! You shall know this precious husband of mine when it 
is too late to escape ; and then we shall see whether you will dare to 
confess to him tbat it is to you be owes bis happiness and the happi- 
ness oi — your mother-in-law ! 

Enter Robinson, at back, and 'pauses. 

Rob. She ought to have arrived by this time. 

Amelia {perceiving him). Ha ! Robinson ! To arms ! 

Rob {perceiving her, and, advancing). At last I find you ! 

Amelia {quickly). John Henry ! {lowering her eyes) Mr. Robinson ! 

Rob. Nay, call me John Henry — 'tis more harmonious. 

Amelia (demurely). Excuse me, sir. For the moment I seemed to 
lose my self-control. 

Rob. Pray don't try to find it. Let there be no sucli thing as self- 
control between us now. {takes her hand and leads her to the sofa.) 

Amelta. Do you still wish to marry me? 
v Rob. Do I? {aside) She is a, pink ! {aloud) Of course I do. 

Amelta. In spite of the obstacles? 

Rob. There are no longer any obstacles in our pathway. Yesterday 
I might have hesitated, but now that I know — what I know, I ■• 

Amelia. What do you know? 

Rob. Nothing! Tis a family secret. You shall know all later — when 
you are my wife. 

Amelia. Your wife! {sentimentally) I shall be the wife of an honora- 
ble man ! Ah ! I had not dared to dream of such happiness. 

Rob. Amelia! 

Amelia. You are not deceiving me? You are not jesting at the ex- 
pense of a poor girl who reposes confidence in you, and who is prepared 
to brave all calumnies for the joy of wearing your name? 

Rob {starting). What calumnies ? 

Amelia. You don't understand? Ah. how unsophisticated you are! 

Rob. {flattered, aside). She finds me unsophisticated ! 

Amelia. One may see with half an eye that you are unacquainted 
with the world's ways. 

Hob. {apprehensively). Think so? 

Amelia. Do you know what that world will say? It will find it strange 
that Amelia Thompson, still young and fair, should marry John Henry 
Robinson, who is neither 

Rob. {starting). Urn -er— pardon me! A moment ago you said 

Amelia. That is what the world will say. 

Rob. Ah! Yes, of course. 

Amelia. But as John Henry Robinson enjoys an income of five thous- 
and dollars, the mystery will be explained, the. world has no idea tbat 



38 THE GREAT HINDOO SECKET. 

Amelia Thompson has refuse'd suitors four times richer, and that if she 
is attracted to Robinson by an irresistible sentiment, it is that his dis- 
tinguished mien, his goodness of heart, bis— I know not what 

Rob. I do, though. 

Amelia. You love me, then ? Ah, I have nothing more to fear, {chang- 
ing her tone) But come, let us leave this place, (site rises.) 

Rob. What, leave here? Sha'ii't we stay for the soiree? (he rises.) 

Amelia. Why should we? To be looked at, spied upon, and tracked 

by people who will tell your son-in-law 

"Rob. {starting). My son-in-law ! You are right; we bad better "o. 

Amelia. Still, if you wish to remain 

Rob. (quickly). No, no ! I agree with you . Prudence is the sister 
of precaution. Let us go. 

Amelia (turning up stage). I will get -mv wraps : we will vanish 
without being seen, (graciously) and vou shall escort me home. 

[Exit, r. 

Hob. (transported). Isn't she just too sweet to live? And what in- 
telligence ! A\ by, she seemed to grasp the whole situation in the twink- 
ling of an eye. The fact is, if I should encounter anv friend of mv son- 
in-law in this place, I 

Enter Rutherford Smythe, at back, in full evening dress. 
All! 

Ruth, (starting). Oh ! 

Rob. You— here! 

Ruth. What a strange fatality! 

Rob. Explain 

Ruth. Why I am here? (laughing) Can't you guess? 

Rob. No. 

Ruth. Why, to sign the contract. 

Rob. What contract? 

Ruth, (disgusted). Imbecile! 

Rob. (comprehending). Oh, yes, yes. Good enough ! That imbe- 
cile's contract ? 

Ruth. Certainly— since it was through Madame Mirabella that I dis- 
covered bim. 

Rob. Then that is why I happened to meet you here yesterday? 

Ruth. Of course. 

Rob. And yet you told me that you had mistaken the door, you 
rnscal ! 

Ruth, (laughing). Well, when a fellow is caught in the act, he has 
to offer some pretext. 

lion. I didn't have to. I met the Colonel— I take it you don't know 
the Colonel? 

Ruth. Not at all. 

Rob. He's w friend of Madame Mirabella. We were in college together; 
I hadn't seen him in thirty-rive years, yet he straightway recognized me. 

Ruth. After thirty-five years! 

Rob. I haven't changed a particle— (Rutherford starts) that is to 
say. very little. I have filled out, but the expression of the figure re- 
mains the same, you know. So. for old acquaintance' sake, the Colonel 
invited me to tin! soiree. At first I rather wain ted to decline, but as I 
had nothing better to do 

Ruth. You accepted, and I nm very happy to meet you. 

Rob. Will you not show me this imbecile of yours? 

Ruth. Certainly, with pleasure. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 39 

Rob. {laughing). He must have a, great head. 

Ruth. He probably has ; I haven't seen it. 

Rob. What? 

Ruth. No ; Madame Mirabeila is going to present me, by and by. 

Rob. Well, that is a joke! (at this moment Amelia opens d. r., but 
seeing the two men, she closes it precipitately) Whew! 

Ruth, {turning suddenly). Eh ? What's the matter? 

Rob. {quickly). Nothing — nothing! A guest made a mistake in the 
door, that's all. 

Cleverly suddenly appears at back. 

Clev. Madame Mirabeila ! Where is Madame Mirabeila? {perceiving 
Robinson) What — Robinson ! 

Rob. {in surprise). What— Cleverly ! 

Rum. {aside). The uncle ! What's he here for ? 

Clev. {to Robinson). I'm just over from Hoboken ; ran all over the 
place; inquired of everybody. Nobody knew him ; nobody had ever 
seen such a man ? 

Ruth. Who? 

Clev. Phil pot Browne. 

Ruth, (quickly). Were you hunting for Philpot Browne? 

Clev. Yes. 

Ruth. What were you after ? 

Clev. His life! 

Ruth, {recoiling). Great Scott ! 

Rob. (to Rutherford). What's the matter with you? 

Ruth. Muscular cramp —always have it when I wear a stand-up 
collar. 

Rob. Then wear a turn-down collar, {to Cleverly) So you failed to 
find ^our man ? 

Clev. Did you ever find a needle in a hay-mow ? 

Ruth, (aside). Would to Heaven I were in a hay-mow, tucked up out 
of sight, this minute ! 

Rob. {aside). Amelia must be waiting! I must get out of this some- 
how, (turns up stage.) 

Clev. (detaining him). But why is he hiding? 

Ruth, {absently). That's what I want to find out. 

Clev. If he were simply the god-father, wouldn't he show himself? 

Rob. Assuredly! 

Clev. Then he is an imposter ! Titania has deceived me. 

Ruth, {aside). What the devil is he talking about? 

Clev. (passing to r.). But I shall find him yet. Madame Mirabeila 
shall tell me where he is ! 

Rob. Of course she shall ! I'll go and look her up. {turns up stage.) 

Ruth, {rushing after him). No, no ! I 

Rob. Keep Mr. Cleverly company. 

Enter The Colonel, at back. 

Colonel {suavely). I beg your pardon, gentlemen 

Rob. What is it now? 

Ruth, {aside, perceiving Colonel). Ha! that flunkey a gain, {throws 
himself upon the sofa in such a way as not to be seen by Colonel.) 

Colonel {to Robinson). We are looking for some one to take a hand 
at whist ; (graciously) will you oblige us? 

Rob. Awfully sorry, but— (tries to escape.) 



40 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Colonel {detaining him, genii!)). Oh, you can't refuse. I ask the 
favor in the name of Count Blunski. 

Rob. \jlatlered). What ! Did Count Bluff 

Colonel. I assure you he did. Come, {takes his arm.) 

Rob. {struggling). No, no ! You really must excuse me. 

Colonel (leading him off, laughingly). No, no! I cannot excuse 
you. {calling off) Here he is, Count — I have him ! 

[They disappear at back. 

Ruth, {rising in haste, aside). Now is my time to skip ! {turns vp 
stage on tiptoe, and finds himself face to face with Madame M., who 
enters at back.) 

Mme. M. {graciously). Ah, Mr. Browne! 

Ruth, {aside). Hooked at last ! 

Clev. {bounding to him). Browne ! Browne ! Are you Philpot Browne? 
{to Madame M. ) Excuse me, madame, but I haveimperative business 
with this gentleman. 

Mme. M. {aside to Rutherford). Who is this individual? 

Ruth, {aside to Madame M.). He's a, detective ! 

Mme. M. {terrified). Mercy on me! {she salutes hurriedly and van- 
is! les.) 

Clev. {stupefied). Do you mean to tell me that you are Philpot 
Browne? 

Ruth, {hesitating and smiling). Well— that is— I'm connected with 
the Philpot Brownes on my mother's side. 

Clev. And can it be that you have known Titania? 

Ruth. Who? 

Clev. Titania ! {violently) Titania ! Titania! 

Ruth, {puzzled). No ; i never knew a family of that name. 

Clev. {aside). I thought as much. Of course he's too young- by 
twenty-five years, {aloud) Then perhaps your father 

Ruth. I beg your pardon ? 

Clev. Your father may be the god-father? 

Ruth. Whose god-father? 

Clev. Her daughter's god-father. 

Ruth. Whose daughter? 

Clev. Titania's. 

Ruth, {violently). I tell you I don't know Titania ! 

Clev. Don't you know Amelia ? 

Ruth. Amelia — yes; but not Titania. 

Clev. Are you her brother? 

Ruth. Titania's brother? 

Clev. No; Amelia's brother. 

Ruth. Oh, what are you talking about? You're crazy! 

Clev. That's right ; insult me. The father deceives, the son insults 
me ! 

Ruth. Has my father deceived you? 

Clev. Yes, sir; he allowed me to believe that the child was my 
child! 

Ruth. What child ? 

Clev. The child I adopted. 

Ruth, {astounded). Have you adopted a child? 

Clev. Look here! Read the letter which Titania wrote me. {pro- 
ducing letter and reading) "Dearest Mortimer — If you have not lost all 
recollection of the wife who once passionately loved you—" Do you 
follow me? 

Ruth. No. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 41 

Clev. Nevertheless, sir, after the receipt of this letter I was her 
father? 

Ruth. Whose father? 

Clev. Amelia's father ! 

Ruth, (wildly). You -her father 1 That caps the climax. 

Enter Madame Mirabella, r. d., followed by Amelia. 

Mme. M. Come with me, my clear child, come with me. {to Ruther- 
ford) Just fancy, she wants to go home ! 

Clev. (starting). Amelia! 

Amelia (starting). Mr. Dickson ! 

Ruth, (surprised). Mr. Dickson ! 

Amelia. Yes, the steward of our family. 

Ruth, (to Cleverly). But you told me 

Clev. {to Rutherford). Hush ! 

Mme. M. (laughing). I trust that Mr. Dickson will not seize Miss 
Thompson's dowry. 

Clev. ( puzzled). I beg your pardon ? 

Mme. M. I suppose you consider you have the right, (smiling) being 
a detective. 

Clev. {astounded). I— a detective! 

Mme. M. (taking Amelia's arm). But come, my dear, let us leave 
these gentlemen to their discussion. 

Amelia (aside). I only hope that Robinson 1ms not deserted me. 

Mme. M. (to Ruthekford, laughingly). Mind, don't give him ihe five 
thousand, Mr. Browne. [Exit, with Amelia, at back. 

Clev. Don't give me the five thousand, eh? It is true, then, thai it 
was you who dowered Amelia ? 

Ruth, (stammering). Ye-es. But don't believe- don't suppose that — 

Clev. By what right do you dower her, if you please? 

Ruth. The right of a friend. 

Clev. Eh? 

Ruth. The Family Friend. 

Clev. I don't understand. 

Ruth. The Family Friend— er — is a society whose aim it is to dower 
poor young girls. 

Clev. Then Amelia has obtained 

Ruth. The first prize— five thousand dollars. 

Clev. Consequently she calls you her god-father. 

Ruth. Exactly. There must be two god-fathers; I am one. 

Clev. Ah ! I understand now. 

Ruth, {wiping his brow). I believe I do too ! 

Clev. Robinson will be a happy man ! 

Ruth. Robinson ! (aside) I believe I don't understand after all. 

Clev. I too shall be happy. 

Ruth, (wearily). Oh, we'il all be happy. 

Mrs. Cleverly appears at back, followed by Yon Vogelsang and the 

Colonel. 

Clev. (joyously). Just think of it ! At last I shall be able to acknow- 
ledge m y d augl i ter ! 

Mrs. C. (advancing). What do I hear? 

Clev. (turning and recoiling). Great Caesar! My wife! 

Colonel (aside). Now, who under the sun are tiiese tramps? 



42 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Mrs. C. (to Cleverly). So you have a daughter, sir? 

Clev. (in despair). Houoria. listen to me. 

Colonel (approaching Mrs. C. ). Pardon me, madam, but were you 
invited here this evening? 

Mrs. C. (turning her back on Colonel). He 1ms a daughter! (to 
Cleverly) This, then, explains your systematic desertion of the conju- 
gal domicile! 

Clev. (hopelessly). I'll explain, if you will only let me. 

Mrs. C. This then explains your appointment in Hoboken? 

Colonel (to Von Vogelsang, who remains in the background). Eve- 
ning dress is the rule here, sir ! 

Mrs, C. (to Cleverly). Don't deny it, for I followed you ! 

Von V. (advancing). We followed you ! 

Mrs. C. (wildly). And this is the discovery I make after sixteen years 
of wedded life. My husband has a daughter ! 

Clev. Houoria ! 

Mrs. C. I forbid you to call me Houoria ! 

Clev. (in despair). Oh ! 

Rim. Calm yourself, Mrs. Cleverly. 

Mrs. C. That is out of the question, (pointing to Von V.) That gen- 
tleman has tried to calm me, but he has failed. 

Von V. I have failed. 

Colonel. Who are these people anyway? 

Clev. {approaching Mrs. C). Permit me to explain. 

Mrs. C. Don't dare to approach me. (throws herself upon the sofa.) 

Clev. (following her). It was in 1855, during the Philadelphia Expo- 
sition, that I met an artiste, a great artiste— Titania. 

Colonel (starting). What do you say? Titania? 

Clev. You knew her? 

Colonel. Well, I should say I did. 

Clev. Then you, at least, will understand me. (going to Colonel) It 
was in 1855. during the Philadelphia Exposition, that I was presented 
to Titania. Five years later I received the following letter: (producing 
letter and reading) " Dearest Mortimer— If you have not lost all recol- 
lection of -" 

Colonel. Good heavens ! 

Clev. What's the matter? 

Colonel. That letter was intended for me! I am the father! 

Clev. (aghast). The father of Amelia Thompson ! (Mrs. C. rises.) 

Ruth, (horrified). Her father a flunkey! (turns up stage.) 

Colonel (to Cleverly). Give me my letter. 

Clev. But your Christian name is Harry ! 

Colonel. Harry for men— (sentimentally) Mortimer for ladies! This 
letter was sent me by the hand of a confidential servant, but unfortu- 
nately I had departed for the Indies, and was reported to have been 
shipwrecked. Then, 1 suppose, my wife thought of you. 

Clev. Your wife! She was my wife. 

Mrs. C. (wildly). His wifel 

Colonel. I was Titania's first husband. She married you after hear- 
ing that 1 was at the bottom of the sea. But my daughter! Where is 
my daughter? 

Enter Madame Mirabella, at back. 

Ah. madame, if you only knew 

Mmk. M. Knew what? 

Colonel. I have found my child ! (to Cleverly) Where is she? 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 43 

Clev. (indifferently). I'm sure I don't know. 

Colonel. What ! You don't know ? But I hold you responsible. 

Clev. (shrugging his shoulders). I beg your pardon; I have nothing 
wh a Lever to do with the matter. Address yourself to madame. 

Mme. M. To me ? 

Clev. Amelia was with you a moment ago. 

Mme. M. What ! That dear child 

Colonel. What dear child? 

Mme. M. Why, my new client's, (pointing to Rutherford) that gen- 
tleman's, god-daughter. 

Colonel. Is it possible? 

Mme. M. It was he who dowered her. 

Mrs. C. Eh? What's that? 

Ruth. Ill the name of an association. 

Clev. (to Colonel). And she obtained the first prize. 

Colonel (embracing Rutherford). My dear sir, how shall I express 
my gratitude! 

Ruth, (patronizingly). That's all right, my friend, (aside) Deucediy 
familiar! 

Colonel. But where is the dear child ? I long so to embrace her! 

Mme. M. I thought she followed me, but 

Colonel. I will go and seek her. 

{Exit at back. Rutherford turns up stage. 

Mme. M. (detaining Rutherford). Remain, Mr. Browne ; I have an- 
nounced your arrival to Mr. Strath more, and as soon as he has finished 
his game with Count Biunski — Ah, here he is ! 

Enter Robinson, at back, in a state of irritation. 

Rob. There! I've had enough of your Count Bluffski! 

Mme. M. {advancing). Mr. Philpot Browne, permit me to present Mr. 
St. George Strath 

Ruth, (recoiling). My conscience! 

Rob. My son-in-law ! 

Ruth. My father-in-law! 

All. What! (general consternation.) 

Rob. (severely). Are you Philpot Browne? (Rutherford makes no 
reply) Then the imbecile, I suppose, is 

Ruth, (aside). Heaven help me ! 

Rob. I understand. Ladies and o- e ntlemen, this person 1ms sought to 
marry me to a discarded sweetheart ! 

All. Oil ! 

Mme. M. Is it possible ? 

Rob. And yet he sought to marry my daughter ! 

Von Y. What an enormity ! 

Ruth, (to Yon Y., furioiisly). Silence ! Who spoke to you ? 

Mme. M. Gentlemen, in mercy's name, no scandal! (turns upstage 
and lowers portieres.) 

Rob. (exasperated). Treat me like an imbecile ! 

Ruth. Pardon me, I 

Rob. Juggle with my gray hairs! 

Ruth. I juggle 

Rob. (becoming more excited). With the honor of a father, the inno- 
cence of a young girl, with all that is pure and most sacred ! 

Ruth, (becoming angry in his turn). Well, you had no right to think 
of marrying. 



44 THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 

Rob. {furious). No right to marry: Why not, if you please? 

Ruth. Because you're a widower, and you ought to remain so. Then 
think oi* your age! 

Alus. 0. That is true, John Henry ; your age is 

Rob. {wildly). Insolence! 

Mme. M. {interrupting). Gentlemen ! gentlemen ! 

Mrs. 0. (to Rutherford). Remember, he is your father-in-law ! (to 
Robinson) He is your son-in-law ! 

Rob. (violently). My son-in-law ! Never ! 

Ruth. Are you mad enough to suppose that I would own him for a 
fatiier-in-law? 

Rob. I could find fifteens-yes, thirty, better sons-in-law than you ! 

Ruth. Try it and see. 

Rob. Yes, and without going so very far, either. 

Von V. Without leading the room, sir! 

Rob. (suddenly). Stay ! An idea strikes me. (crossing to table near 
which Mme. M. stands. ) 

Von V. (following him). I am twenty-eight years old; belong to an 
honorable family; my father 

Rob. (repulsing Von V. and striking the table a tremendous How). 
Write at my dictation, madame! 

Mme. M. (seating herself and opening her register). At your service, 
sir. 

Rob. AY 'rite ! (general flutter of excitement). "Maud Robinson— only 
daughter— one hundred and fifty thousand dollars dowry " 

Ruth. I beg your pardon— one hundred. 

Rob. I said one hundred and fifty. 

Ruth. Since when ? 

Rob. I refuse to have anything to say to you, sir. — "One hundred 
and fifty thousand dollars, with expectations, (Rutherfobd starts) which 
are likely to be realized in a short time." {glancing proudly about him) 
If under the circumstances Madame Mirabella fails to secure me a son- 
in-law, (recklessly) I shall doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the 
sun dotli move, doubt truth to be a liar, and all the rest of it! (turns 
up stage. ) 

Ruth, (advancing). Now write at my dictation, madame. 

Mme. M. You too ! (aside) My business is booming. 

Ruth. '-Rutherford Smythe— age Ihirty-two— (proudly) secretary to 
the Board of Public Works " 

Rob. Humph ! You haven't been confirmed yet. 

Ruth. I beg vour pardon— my election was confirmed yesterday. 
(Robinson starts) ''Age thirty-two— secretary to the Board of Public 
Works, and sole heir to the estate of my maternal uncle, Phiipot Browne 
Rutherford." 

Rob. (aslounded). What! Has the old man passed in his checks? 

Ruth. He has passed them over to me. 

Rob. (precipitately). I give you my daughter! 

Ruth, (airily). I refuse to have anything to say to you, sir ! 

Enter The Colonel, at back, leading Amelia by the hand, and fol- 
lowed by Petunia Plummer and Count Bluffski. 

Colonel (advancing to Robinson). Well, Robinson, I brimr you your 
fiancee, (a paus<>) You don't seem to be in any haste to claim her. 

Rob. No, sir ; the young lady must understand now that this m irriage 
is impossible. 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 45 

Colonel {starting). Impossible? 

Rob. I will say no more, {taking Cleverly's hand) out of regard for 
her father. 

Colonel. Out of regard for me ? 

Ron {starting). Eh? 

Clu. {sadly). Yes, my dear brother-in-law, it appears that I have 
been ikistaken. 

Rob. Explain yourself. 

Amelia {advancing). There is no need of explanation. ( pointing to 
Cleveely) That gentleman has nothing to explain, since the refusal 
comes not rrom him. I, and I alone, renounce the marriage negotiated 
by Madame Mirabella and {pointing to Rutherford) that person. 

Ruth. By Jove ! that was well done. 

Amelia. I never had the slightest intention of marrying Mr. Robin- 
son. 

Rob. {injured). Oh, come now. 

Amelia. I only wished to teach a lesson to egotists, {glancing at 
Rutherford) who fancy that wounds of the heart may be healed with 
bank-notes, and that a little gold-dust will suffice to extinguish the 
flame of love ! 

Ruth, {aside). Superb! 

Mrs. C. {to Cleverly). Make a note of that. 

Clev. With pleasure, my love. 

Amelia. I freely grant Mr. Robinson his liberty, and return to Mr. 
Philpot Browne Rutherford Smythe his five thousand dollars. 

Colonel. Bravo ! 

Mrs. C. But. my dear, you'll never get a husband without a dowry. 

Amelia. Then I'll do without one, my dear madam, which may be 
the cheapest in the end. 

Mme. M. {rising suddenly, as if inspired). List to the oracle! My 
dear child, I believe I divine the secret motives which actuate your 
conduct. 

Colonel. Love secrets ? 

Mme. M. Precisely. And I wish to avail myself of this opportunity 
of publicly proving that the Great Hindoo Secret is not alone confined 
to consummating wealthy marriages, but may make true lovers one as 
well, {throwing open l. d. mysteriously) Awake ! Come forth ! 

Enter The Unknown. 

Unknown (saluting). Ladies! Gentlemen! 

Mme. M. {to Unknown). My dear sir, I promised you that on the day 
that I presented you with a wife, you should receive her from my hands. 
{presenting Amelia) Accept this lady ! 

Unkown {hesitating). But. madame 

Rob. {aside to Unknown). Don't let your chance slip ! 

Ruth, {aside to Unknown). Take her, and God bless you ! 

Unknown {to Colonel). Will you give her to me, Colonel? 

Colonel. If she loves you. 

Unknown {to Amelta). Do you, my darling? 

All {in surprise). His darlinsr! 

Amelia. Not in that rig. my dear Bertie. 

All {stupefied). Her dear Bertie ! 

Taking off his coat, wig and spectacles, The Unknown appears an 
elegant young man in full evening dress. 



46 



THE GREAT HINDOO SECRET. 



Unknown {taking Amelia's hand). Then take me as I am— Herbert 
St. Elmo Van Reuselaer! 

Hob. {amazed). What! Of Van Reuselaer & Van Eenselaer? 

Unknown. Junior partner. 

Colonel. And worth his weight in gold! {pirouettes about stage.) 

Ruth, {disgusted). Humph ! ^He's got a dancing-master for a father- 
in-law. 

Mrs. C. {patronizingly). But, my dear sweet child, are you really 
engaged? (Amelia nods) How long has it been? 

Amelia. Oh, some six weeks. 

Mme. M. {advancing quickly to Amelia's side). 
pray don't expose me. You've had your revenge; 

liow many of our good friends here would patronize me, were you to 
divulge the true inwardness of the Great Hindoo Secret? 



Hush, hush, my dear; 
{to the audience) and 



CURTAIN. 



EXPLANATION OF THE STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

The Actor is supposed to face the Audience. 



d. r. c. 



d. l. c. 



tii. 

/ 



R. U. E. 
R. 3E, 
R. 2 K, 
R. 1 E, 



SCENE. 



L. U. E. 



\ 



/ 



1 

\ 



I 



I 

R. 



L. 3b. 
L. 2 E, 

L. 1 R. 

\ 



\ 



R. C. C. L. C. 

AUDIENCE. 



c. Centre. 
R. Right. 

r. c. Right Centre. 
R. 1 e. Right First Entrance, 
n. 2 e. Right Second Entrance. 
R. 3 e. Right Third Entrance. 
r. u. e. Right Upper Entrance. 

d. r. c. Door Right Centre. 



L. Left. 

L. c. Left Centre. 

l. 1 E. Left First Entrance. 

l. 2 E. Left Second Entrance. 

L. 3 E. Left Third Entrance. 

L. u. e. Left Upper Entrance. 

c. d. Centre Door. 

d. l. c. Door Left Centre. 



DE WITT'S ACTKG PLATS. 



-< r < » <^ t» 



JG£g* Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the following 
List of " De Witt's Acting Plays " are very suitable for representation in small Amateur 
Theatres and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extriusic aid Ironi complex scenery 
or expensive costumes. They have attained their deserved popularity "by their droll situa- 
tions, excellent plots, great humor aud brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that 
they are the most perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in 
the United States or Europe, whether as regards purity of text, accuracy and fullness of 
stage directions and scenery, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. 

*#* In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which 
indicate the number of the piece in •* De "Witt's List of Acting Peats.'' 

jgcg=» Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price— Fifteen Cents 
each. 

JC^=* The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The 
figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — II. male; F. female. 



M. f. 

75. Adrienne, drama, 3 acts. 7 

231. All that Glitters is not Gold, comic 

drama, 2 acts 6 

308, All on Account of a Bracelet, come- 
dietta, 1 act 2 

114. Anything for a Change, coniedy.l act 3 
167. Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts. . . 7 
93. Area Belle, farce, 1 act o 

40. Atchi, comedietta, 1 act. ............ 3 

89. Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. 3 

K58. Aunt Dinah's Pledge, temperance 
drama, 2 acts ". 6 

237. Bachelor's Box (La Petite Hotel), 
comedietta, 1 act 4 

166. Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch. 1 act. 6 

310. Barrack Boom (The), comedietta,2a. G 

41. Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 

141, Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 

223. Betsey Baker, farce, 1 act 2 

67. Birthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act.. 7 
36. Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts . 7 

279. Black-Eyed Susan, drama, 2 acts. . . 14 
296. Black and White, drama, 3 acts. ... 6 

160. Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 

179. Breach of Promise, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
25. Broken-Hearted Club, comedietta. . 4 

70. Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

261. Bottle (The), drama, 2 acts 11 

226. Box and Cox, Romance.^ act 2 

24. Cabman No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 

199. Captain of the Watch, comedietta, 

1 act 6 

1. Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 

175. Cast upon the World, drama, 5 acts. 11 
55. Catharine Howard, historical plav, 

3 acts ..12 

G9. Caught by the Cuff, farce, 1 act. . . . 4 

80. Charming Pair, farce, 1 act 4 

05. Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 

68. Chevalier de St. George, drama, 3a. 
119. Chimney' Corner (The), domestic 

drama, 3 acts 5 

76. Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act.. 3 
205. Circumstances alter Cases, comic 

operetta, 1 act 1 

149, Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 

121. Comical Countess, farce, 1 act 3 



3 


222. 




248. 


3 


107. 




152. 


2 


52. 


3 


148. 


3 




2 


113. 


o 


20. 


3 


286. 




4. 


3 


22. 




275. 


1 


96. 


2 


16. 


2 


58. 


2 


125. 


3 


71. 


2 


142. 


3 


204. 


5 


21. 


2 


260. 


3 


240. 


6 


263. 


2 


186. 


8 


242. 


1 


47. 


6 


2S3. 


1 




2 


202. 




315. 


2 


297. 


3 




5 


200. 




135. 





230. 


1 


103. 


3 


9. 


5 




3 


128. 




xOl. 


2 


99. 


2 


262, 


1 


145. 


7 


102. 


1 


88. 



Cool as a Cucumber, farce, 1 act.. . . 3 
Cricket on the Hearth, diania, oacts 8 

Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act 2 

Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act.. 1 

Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Cut Off with a Shilling, comedietta, 

1 act 2 

Cyril's Success, comedy, 5 acts 10 

Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 

Daisy Farm, drama, 4 acts 10 

Dandelion's Dodges, farce, 1 act... 4 

David Garrick, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Day Alter the Wedding, farce, 1 act 4 
Dearest 3Iamma, comedietta, 1 act.. 4 

Dearer than Life, drama. 3 acts 6 

Deborah (Leah), drama, 3 acts... ... -7 

Deerfoot, farce. 1 act. 5 

Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acts. . 9 
Drawing Boom Car (A). comedy ,1 act 2 

Dreams, drama, 5 acts.. 6 

Drunkard's Warning, drama, 3 acts 6 
Drunkard's Doom (The), drama, 2a. 15 

Drunkard (The), drama, 5 acts 13 

Duchess de la Yallierepiay, 5 acts.. 6 

Dumb Belle (The), farce, 1 act 4 

Easy Shaving, farce, 1 act 5 

E. C. B. Susau Jane, musical bur- 
lesque, 1 act.. 8 

Eileen Oge, Irish drama, 4 acts 11 

Electric Love, farce, 1 act 1 

English Gentleman (An), comedy- 
drama, 4 acts 7 

Estranged, operetta. 1 act 2 

Everybody's Friend, comedy. 3 acts 6 
Family Jars, musical farce, 2 acts . . 5 
Fanst and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts 9 
Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 

interlude, 1 act 4 

Female Detective, drama, 3 acts 11 

Fernande, drama, 3 acts 11 10 

Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts 10 2 

Fifteen Years of a Drunkard's Life, 

melodrama. 3 acts 13 4 

First Love, comedy. 1 act 4 1 

Foiled, drama. 4 acts 9 3 

Founded on Facts, farce, 1 act 4 2 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS -Continued 



M. F. 

*59. Fruits of the Wine Cup, drama, 3 cts 6 3 

192. Game of Cards (A), comedietta, la.. 3 1 

74. Garrick Fever, farce, 1 act 7 4 

53. Gertrude's Money Box, farce, 1 act. 4 2 

73. Golden Fetters (Fettered), drama, 3.11 4 
30. Goose with the Golden Eggs, farce, 

lact 5 3 

131. Go to Putney, farce, 1 act 4 3 

276. Good for Nothing, comic drama, la. 5 1 
30(5. Great Success (A), comedy, 3 acts.. 8 5 

277. Grimshaw, Bagshaw and Bradshaw, 

farce, 1 act 4 2 

203. Heir Apparent (The), farce, 1 act... 5 1 

241. Handy Andy, drama, 2 acts 10 3 

28. Happv Pair! comedietta, 1 act 1 1 

151. Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 

8. Henry Dunbar, drama, 4 acts 10 3 

180. Henrv the Fifth, hist, play, 5 acts.. 38 5 

03. Her Only Fault, comedietta, 1 act. . 2 2 

.19. He's a Lunatic, farce, 1 act 3 2 

i0. Hidden Haud, drama, 4 acts 5 5 

.91. High C, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 

J46. High Life Below Stairs, farce, 2 acts. 9 5 

301. Hinko, romantic drama, 6 acts 12 7 

224. His Last Legs, farce, 2 acts 5 3 

187. His Own Enemy, farce, 1 act 5 1 

174. Home, comedy. 3 acts 4 3 

211. Honesty is the Best Policy, play, 1. 2 

64. Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act. ... 1 1 

190. Hunting the Slippers, farce. 1 act.. 4 1 

197. Hunchback (The), play, 5 acts 13 2 

225. Ici on Parle Fraucais, farce. 1 act... 3 4 
252. Idiot Witness, melodrama, 3 acts. ..6 1 

18. If I had a Thousand a Year, farce, 14 3 

116. I'm not Mesilt at all, Irish stew, la. 3 2 

129. In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act. 2 3 

159. In the Wrong House, farce, 1 acr. . . 4 2 

278. Irish Attorney (The), farce, 2 acts.. 8 2 
282. Irish Broom Maker, farce. 1 act 9 3 

273. Irishman in London, farce, 1 acts.. 6 3 

243. Irish Lion (The), farce, 1 act 8 3 

271. Irish Post (The), drama. 1 act 9 3 

244. Irish Tutor (The), farce, 1 act 5 2 

270. Irish Tiger (The), farce. 1 act 5 1 

274. Irish Widow (The), farce, 2 acts 7 1 

122. Isabella Orsini, drama, 4 acts 11 4 

177. I Shall Invite the Major, comedy, 14 1 

100. Jack Long, drama, 2 acts ... 9 2 

299. Joan of Arc, hist, play, 5 acts 26 6 

139. Joy is Dangerous, comedy. 2 acts. . 3 3 

17. Kind to a Fault, corned v," 2 acts. ... 6 4 
233. Kiss in the Dark (A), farce, 1 act.. ..23 

309. Ladies' Battle (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 2 

86. Lady of Lyons, play, 5 acts 12 5 

137. L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 

72. Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act. 4 2 

144. Lancashire Lass, melodrama. 4 acts. 12 3 

34. Larkins' Love Letters, farce. 1 act.. 3 2 

189. Leap Year, musical dualitv, 1 act....l 1 

253. Lend Me Five Shillings, farce, 1 act 5 3 

111. Liar (The), comedy. 2 acts 7 2 

119. Life Chase, drama. 5 nets 14 5 

239. Limerick Bov (The), farce, 1 act. ... 5 2 

48. Little Annie's Birthdav. farce, 1 act.. 2 4 

32. Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 3 

164. Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts 6 fi 

295. Little Em'l'v, drama, 4 acts 8 8 

16:-). Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 

223. Loan of a Lover (The), vaudeville,! 4 1 



109. Locked in, comedietta, 1 act 1 2 

85. Locked in with a Lady, sketch 1 l 

87. Locked Out, comic scene l l 

143. Lodgers and Dodgers, farce, 1 act". . 4 2 
212. London Assurance, comedy, 5 acts. 10 3 

291. M. P.. comedy, 4 acts 7 2 

210. Mabel's Manoeuvre, interlude, 1 act 1 3 

1G3. Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 3 

154. Maria and jMagdaleua, play, 4 acts.. 8 6 
63. Marriage at any Price, farce, ] act. . 5 3 

249. Marriage a Lottery, comedy,' 2 acts. 3 4 
208. Married Bachelors, comedietta, la.. 3 2 

39. Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act 4 2 

7. Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 3 

49. Mrdnight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 2 

15. Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 2 

46. Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 2 

51. Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 2 

302. Model Pair (A), comedy, 1 act 2 2 

184. Money, comedy, 5 acts' 17 3 

250. More Blunders' thau One, farce, ia. 4 3 
312. More Sinned against than Sinning, 

original Irish drama, 4 acts 11 

234. Morning Call (A), comedietta, 1 act. 1 I 

108. Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 3 

188. Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 3 

169. My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 a<;t 4 I 

216. My Neighbor's Wife, farce, 1 act 3 3 

236. My Turn Next, farce, 1 act 4 3 

193. My Walking Photograph, musical 

duality, 1 act 1 1 

267. My Wife's Bonnet, farce. 1 act 3 4 

130. My Wife's Diarv. farce, 1 act 3 1 

92. My Wife's Out, farce. 1 act 2 2 

218. Naval Engagements, farce, 2 acts. . . 4 2 
140. Never Reckon your Chickens, etc., 

farce. 1 act 3 4 

115. New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 5 

2. Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 18 3 

57. Noemie, drama. 2 acts.. 4 4 

104. No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 5 

112. Not a bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 3 

298. Not if I Know it. farce, 1 act 4 4 

185. Not so bad as we Seem, play, 5 acts.13 3 

84. Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts . . 10 G 

117. Not such a Fool as he Looks, drama, 

3 acts 5 4 

171. Nothing like Paste, farce. 1 act 3 1 

14. No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts 13 6 

300. Notre Dame, drama. 3 acts 11 8 

269. Object of Interest (An), larce, 1 act. 4 3 

268. Obstinate Family (The), farce, 1 act. 3 3 
173. Off the Stage, comedietta. 1 act.... 3 3 

227. Omnibus (The), farce. 1 act 5 4 

176. On Bread and Water, farce, lact... 1 2 
254. One Too Many, farce, 1 act 4 2 

S3. One Too Many for Him, farce, 1 act 2 3 

3. £1 00,000. comedy, 3 acts 8 4 

90. Only a Halfpenny, farce, 1 act 2 2 

170. Only Somebody, farce. 1 act 4 2 

289. On the Jury, drama, 4 acts 5 5 

97. Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 

66. Orange Girl, drama. 4 acts 18 4 

209. Othello, tragedy. 5 acts 16 2 

172. Ours, comedy. 3 acts 6 3 

94. Our Clerks, farce. 1 act 7 5 

4.">. ( )nr Domestics, comedy-farce, 2 acts 6 6 

155. Onr Heroes, military play, 5 acts. ..24 5 
] 78. Out at Sea, drama, 5 acts! 17 5 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS -Continued. 



147. Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts 11 5 

305. Pair of Shoes (A), farce, 1 act 4 3 

285. Partners lor Lite, comedy, 3 acts 7 4 

156. Peace at any Price, farce, 1 act 1 1 

82. Peep o' bay, drama, 4 acts .12 4 

127. Peggy Green, iarce, 1 act 3 10 

23. Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, 

lact 1.3 24 

293. Philomel, romantic drama, 3 acts.. . G 4 

62. Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 

61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts. ... 7 2 

138. Poll and Partner Joe, buriesqe, la.. 10 3 

217. Poor Pillicoddy, farce, 1 act 2 3 

110. Poppleton's Predicaments, farce, la. 3 6 

50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts.. 8 2 

59. Post Boy, drama. 2 acts 5 3 

95. Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce 3 10 

280. Pretty Piece of Business (A), come- 
dy, 1 act ... 2 3 

181. 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 acts 37 9 

196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic 

operetta, 1 act 1 1 

255. Quiet Family, farce, 1 act 4 4 

157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act... 5 2 

132. Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 

237. Regular Fix (A), farce, 1 act 6 4 

183. Richelieu, play, 5 acts 12 2 

38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 

77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 4 

316. Romeo on the Gridiron (A), mono- 

, logue, for a lady . 1 

195. R.ksemi Shell, burlesque, 4 scenes.. 6 3 

217. Rough Diamond (The), farce, 1 act. C, 3 

l'J4. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 

13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

229. Sarah's Young Man, farce, 1 act. ... 3 3 

158. School, comedy, 4 acts, 6 6 

201. School for Scandal, comedy, 5 acts.. 13 4 

264. S^rap of Paper (A), comic drama, 3a. 6 6 

79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, la. 7 5 

203. She Stoops to Conquer, comedy, 5a. 15 4 

37. Silent Protector, farce. 1 act , . . . . 3 2 

35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 1 

J 13. Single Married Man (A), comic ope- 
retta, 1 act 6 2 

43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act. . 7 2 

6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act.. 2 1 

221. Slasher and Crasher, farce. 1 act... 5 2 

JO. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. ..1 1 

26. Society, comedy, 3 acts 16 5 

2<>7. Sold Again, comic operetta, 1 act... 3 1 

$04. Sparking, comedietta, 1 act 1 2 

78. Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 7 3 
215. Still Waters Run Deep, comedy, 3a. 9 2 
L*r>6. Sweethearts, dramatic contrast, 2a.. 2 2 
232. Tail (Tale) of a Shark, musical mon- 
ologue, 1 scene 1 

31. Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act 3 

3 50. Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act.. 1 2 

120. Tempest in a Teapot, comedy, 1 act 2 1 



m. r. 

257. Ten Nights in a Bar Room, drama, 

5 acts 8 2 

146. There's no Smoke without Fi£e, 

comedietta, 1 act 1 2 

83. Thrice Married, personation piece, 

1 act 6 1 

245. Thumping Legacy (A), 1 act 7 1 

251. Ticket of Leave Man, drama, 4 acts. 9 3 

42. Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts. 7 3 

27. Tune and Tide, drama, 4 acts 7 5 

133. Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act 4 2 
153. 'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 

farce, 1 act 2 1 

134. Tompkins the Troubadour, farce. 1. 3 2 

272. Toodles (The), drama, 2 acts 10 2 

235. To Oblige Benson, comedietta, 1 Jrct 3 2 

238. Trying It On, farce, 1 act 3 3 

29. Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act. . . 5 3 

214. Turn Him Out, farce, 1 act 3 2 

168. Twecdie's Rights, comedy, 2 acta.. 4 2 

126. Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 3 

234. 'Twixt Axe and Crown, play, 5 acts.24 13 

198. Twin Si&ters, comic operetta. 1 act. 2 2 

265. Two Bonnycastles, farce, 1 act 3 3 

220. Two Buzzards (The), farce, 1 act. ... 3 2 

56. Two Gay Deceivers, face, 1 act..... 3 

1 23. Two Polts, farce, 1 act 4 4 

288. Two Roses (The), comedy. 3 acts. ..74 

292. Two Thorns (The), comedy, 4 acts.. 9 4 

294. Uncle Dick's Darling, drama, 3 acts 6 5 

162. Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 1 

106. Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act 6 2 

81 . Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 3 

317. Veteran of 1812 (The), romantic mil- 
itary drama, 5 acrs 12 2 

124. Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 6 

91. Walpole, comedy in rhyme 7 2 

1 18 Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 2 1 
231. Wanted, One Thousand Spirited 
Young Milliners for the Gold Re- 
gions, farce, 1 act '■'. 3 7 

44. "War to to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts 5 4 

311. "What Tears can do, comedietta, la.. 3 2 

105. Which of the Two? comedietta, la.. 2 10 

266. Who Killed Cock Robin? farce, 2a.. 2 2 

98. Who is Who ? iarce 3 2 

12. Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 

213. Widow (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 6 

5. William Tell with a Vengeance, bur- 
lesque 8 2 

„-, (Window Curtain, monologue. ... 1 

I Circumstantial Evidence " 1 

136. Woman in Red, drama, 4 acts 6 8 

161. Woman's Vows and Masons' Oaths, 

drama, 4 acts 10 4 

11. Woodcock's Little Game, farce. 2a.. 4 4 
290. Wrong Man in the Right Piace (A), 

farce, 1 act 2 3 

54. Young Collegian, farce, 1 act 3 2 



^^^^ A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT' 
TICKING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address 

DE WITT, 33 Rose Street, New York. 



DE WITT'S DRAWING-ROOM OPERETTAS. 



B^~ TO MUSICAL AMATEURS. _g| 

The number of Musical Amateurs, both ladies and gentlemen, is not only very 
large, but is constantly increasing, and very naturally, for there is no more re* 
fined &n& pleasant mode of spending leisure hours than in singing and playing the 
choice productions of the best Composers. Hitherto there has been an almost f otal 
izck of suitable pieces adaptedto an evening's entertainment in Parlors by Amateurs. 
tDf course whole Operas, or even parts of O'xras, require o.-chestral accompani- 
ments and full choruses to give them effect, and arc therefore clearly unfit for 
Amateur performance, while a succession of songs lacks the interest given by a 
\Aot and a contrast of characters. In this series {a list of which i< given below) we 
have endeavored to supply this want. The best Music of popular Composers is wed- 
ded to appropriate words, and the whole dovetailed into plots that are effective as 
mere petite plays, but are rendered doubly interesting by the appropriate and beau- 
tiful Music, specially arranged far them. 



LIST OF DE WITT'S MUSICAL PLAYS. 

PRICE 15 GENTS EACH. 



CEAP TEAR— A Musical Dual- 
ity. By Alfred B. Sedgwick. Mu- 
sic selected and adapted from Of- 
fenbach's celebrated Opera, " Gene- 
vieve de Brabant." One Male, one 
Female Character. 

THE TWI1T SISTERS-Comic 

Operetta, in One Act. The Music 
selected from the most popular num- 
bers in Le Cooq's celebrated Opera 
Bouffe, " Girojle Girofla" and the 
Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
wick. Two Male, Two Female 
Characters. 

BOLT) AGAItf AND GOT. THE 

MONEY.— Comic Operetta, in One 
Act. The Music composed and the 
Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
wick. Three Male, One Female 
Character. 

THE QUEEREST COURTSHIP. 

— Comic Operetta, in One Act. The 
Music arranged from Offenbach's 
celebrated Opera, "La Princesae de 
Trebizonde" and the Libretto writ- 
ten by Alfred B. Sedgwick. One 
Male, One Female Character. 



ESTRANGED.— An Operetta, in 
One Act, The Musie arranged from 
Verdi's celebrated Opera, "II Trov- 
atore." and the Libretto adapted by 
Alfred B. Sedgwick. Two Male, 
One Female Character. 

CIR0UMSTA1TCES ALTEE 

CASES.— Comic Operetta, in One 
Act. The mu<ic composed and the 
Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
wick. One Male, One Female Char- 
acter. 

MY WALKING PEOTOGRAPE. 

—Musical Duality, in One Act. The 
Music arranged from Le Cocq's 
Opera, "La FUle de Madame A ngo! " 
and the Libretto written by Aj frfb 
B. Sedgwick. One Male, One Fe- 
male Character. 

A SINGLE MARRIED K\K- 

Comic Operetta, in One Act. The 
Music arranged from "Offknuach's 
celebrated Opera Bouff •, " Madame 
VArchidvc" and ihe Libretto writ- 
ten by Alfred B. Sedgwick. Six 
Male/Two Female Cha. acter^. 



HOLLY MOBIABTY..-.An Irish 

Musical Sketch, in One Act The 
Music composed and the Dialogue 
written by Alfred B. Sedgwick. 
One Male, one Female Character. 
Suitable for the Variety Stage. 

THE CHARGE OP THE HASH 

BRIGADE— A Comic Irish Musical 
Sketch. The Musie composed and 
the Libretto written by Joseph P 
Skelly. Two Male, two Female 
Character 5 Suitable for the Variety 
Stag*. 



GAMBBINTTS. EIMO? LAGER 

BEEH.— A Musical Ethiopian Bur- 
lesque, in One Act. Music and Dia- 
logue by Frank Dimont. 'Ei^ht 
Male, one Female Character. BttKU* 
ble for tac Ethiopian Sfoigo, 

AFRI0ANTJ3 BLUEBEARD.— V 

Musical Ethiopian Burlesque, mOno 
Act. Musi-.- and Dialogue by Frank 
Dumont. Foir Male, four Femalf 
Characters Suitable for the E'Juo- 
plan Stage. 



DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AXD COMIC DfiAMA.— Continued. 



33. Jealous Husband, sketch 2 1 81. 

94. Julius the Suoozer. burlesque, 3 sc. 6 1 26. 
103. Katrina's Little Game. Dutch act, 138. 

1 scene 1 1 

1. Last of the Mohicaus, sketch 3 1 i 15. 

36. Laughing Gas, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 

18. Live Injun, sketch. 4 scenes 4 1 

60. Lost Will, sketch 4 

37. Luckv Job, farce. 2 scenes 3 2 

00. Lunatic (The), farce. 1 scene 3 

100. Making a Hit, farce, 2 scenes 4 

19. Malicious Trespass, sketch, 1 scene. 3 
149. "Meriky. Ethiopian farce, 1 scene... 3 1 
151. Micky Free, Irish sketch, 1 scene.. 5 

96. Midnight Intruder, farce, 1 scene . 6 1 
147. Milliner's Shop (The). Ethiopian 72 

sketch. 1 scene 2 2 13. 

129. Moko Marionettes, Ethiopian eccen- | 16 

tricity, 2 scenes 4 5 

101. Molly * Moriarty, Irish musical 

sketch, 1 scene 1 1 

117. Motor Bellows, comedy, 1 act 4 

44. Musical Servant, sketch. 1 scene.... 3 

8. Mutton Trial, sketch, 2 scenes .... 4 
119. MyWife'sVisitors, comic drama,lsc. 6 1 

49. Night in a Strange Hotel, sketch, lsc. 2 
132. Noble Savage, Ethi'n sketch, 1 sc. .. 4 
145. No Pay No Cure, Ethi'n sketch, 1 sc. 5 

22. Obeying Orders, sketch, 1 scene — 2 1 

27. 100th Night of Hamlet, sketch 7 1 

125. Oh, Hush ! operatic olio 4 1 

30. One Night in a Bar Room, sketch . . 7 

114. One Night in a Medical College, 

Ethiopian sketch, 1 scene 7 1 

76. One, Two, Three, sketch, 1 scene. . 7 

91. Painter's Apprentice, farce, 1 scene. 5 
87. Pete aud the Peddler, Negro and 

Irish sketch, 1 scene 2 1 

135. Pleasant Companions, Ethiopian 

sketch, 1 scene 5 1 

92. Polar Bear (The), farce, 1 scene 4 1 

9. Policy Players, sketch, 1 scene 7 

57. Pompey's Patients, interlude, 2 sc. 6 
65. Porter's Troubles, sketch, 1 scene. . 6 1 
6Q. Port Wine vs. Jealousy, sketch 2 1 

115. Private Boarding, comedy, 1 scene. 2 3 
14. Recruiting Office, sketch, 1 act 5 

105. Rehearsal (The), Irish farce. 2 sc. . . 3 1 

45. Remittance from Home. sketch, 1 sc. 6 
55. Rigging a Purchase, sketch, 1 sc. .. 3 



121, 

47 
54, 

100. 

102. 
34, 

122, 

2, 

104, 

5, 

28 

134 

62 

32, 

39, 



93 
29 

97, 
137. 

143. 

99. 

85, 
116, 



M. F. 

Rival Artists, sketch. 1 scene 4 

Rival Tenants, sketch 4 

Rival Barbers' Shops (The), Ethio- 
pian farce. 1 scene 6 1 

Sam's Courtship, farce, 1 act 2 1 

Sausage Makers, sketch. 2 scenes.. 5 1 

Scampini. pantomime, 2 scenes 3 3 

Scenes on the Mississippi, sketch, 

2 scenes.. 6 

Serenade (The), sketch. 2 scenes.... 7 

Siamese Twins, sketch, 2 scenes 5 

Sleep Walker, sketch. 2 scenes 3 

Slippery Day, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 

Squire lor a Day, sketch. 5 1 

Stage-Struck Couple, interlude. 1 sc. 2 1 

Stranger, burlesque, 1 scene 1 2 

Streets of New York, sketch. 1 sc. . . 6 
Storming the Fort, sketch, 1 scene. 5 

Stupid Servant, sketch, 1 scene 2 

Stocks Up ! Stocks Down ! Negro 

duologue, 1 scene 2 

Take It, Don't Take It, sketch, 1 sc. 2 

Them Papers, sketch, 1 scene 3 

Three Chiefs (The), sketch, 1 scene. 6 

Three A. M., sketch. 2 scenes 3 1 

Tiiree Strings to one Bow, sketch, 

1 scene ... 4 1 

Ticket Taker, Ethi'n farce, 1 scene. 3 

Tricks, sketch 5 2 

Two Awfuls (The), sketch, 1 scene.. 5 

Two Black Roses, sketch 4 1 

Uncle Eph's Dream, sketch, 2 sc. . . 3 1 
Unlimited Cheek, sketch, 1 scene . . 4 1 

Vinegar Bitters, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 

Wake up. William Henry ; sketch. . . 3 
Wanted, a Nurse, sketch, 1 scene... 4 
Weston, the Walkist, Dutch sketch, 

1 scene 7 1 

What shall I Take? sketch, 1 scene. 7 1 
Who Died First ? sketch. 1 scene. . . 3 1 

Who's the Actor? farce. 1 scene 4 

Whose Baby is it ? Ethiopian sketch, 

1 scene 2 1 

Wonderful Telephone (The), Ethio- 
pian sketch, 1 scene 4 1 

Wrong Woman in the Right Place, 

sketch, 2 scenes 2 2 

Young Scamp, sketch, 1 scene 3 

Zacharias' Funeral, farce, 1 scene.. 5 



^— ^ A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT- 
BBeSglNG PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
containing Plot, Costume, Scenery. Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address 



DE WITT, Publisher, 

33 Rose Street, New York. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




An Minimi Book for Amateurs. 



HOW TO MANAGE 
AMATEUR THEATRICALS, 

Beino- plain instructions for construction and arrangement of Stage, 
making Scenerv. getting up Costumes, "Making Up" to represent 
different ages and characters, and how to produce stage Illusions and 
Effects Also hints for the management of Amateur Dramatic Clubs, 
and a list of pieces suitable for Drawing Room Performances. Hand- 
somely illustrated with Colored Plates. 

Price, 25 Cents. 



DE WITT'S SELECTIONS 

FOR 

HIM MP PARLOR THEATRICALS. 

Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5. 

Being choice selections from the very best Dramas, Comedies and 
Farces. Specially adapted for presentation by Amateurs, and for 
Parlor and Drawing Room Entertainments. 

Each number, 25 Cents. 



PANTOMIME PLAY , 

"HUMPTY DUMPTY." 

four female characters. 

Price, 25 Cents. 



